Saturday, September 13, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: A bloody fool's mind that caused the use of ISA


Call him stupid. Call him crazy. But he has the ability to give the Government to use the old excuses to arrest a few people. What's more, he's safe. He was just suspended for 3 years for whatever stupid things that he had done. What kind of justification is that, you tell me. Will there be more? Is this going to be Ops Lalang 2, the Chedet's old trick?

As we are advancing Sept 16, some people are really getting desperate. They believed the best way to destroy the plan is through intimidation and the most effective way is to use the ISA. Afterall, didnt our lovely Prime Minister vowed to destroy the plan? Not many Malaysians can take torture. Hell, not many human beings can stand torture. So I can understand their grievances.

I am sure the MPs in Taiwan would have been informed about the ISA breakdowns. Will they stand firm on the crossover plan? Human minds changes too rapidly. You can never know. But if they love the nation, this is our only chance. Unfortunately, it is in their hand and not in the hand of the people like me.

As we pride our nation as one with the system of democracy, I am most ashamed to confess my feeling that we are more like living in the Nazi era. The only difference is, there's no mass killings. But... I said but, there may be mass incarceration of BN's political enemy.

For the next few days, I am really worried for DSAI, Uncle Lim Kit Siang and Tok Guru Nik Aziz. The only way to stop the plan of Anwar is to have more arrest, cause more unrest and continue to intimidate the nation. Some times I wonder why human being can be so power crazy that they lost the basic fundamental of a human nature. Where is the love? Sometimes it's hard to imagine that these people were once the young and cute baby who will grow up with full of promises and end up being a tyrant.

We are now living in the 21st century and yet we have the mindset of barbarian ruling our nation. All the while, we are living in the double standard system of democracy especially during the Mahathir's era if you dont realise it already. When will we break free? When will we finally enjoy the true democratic system? Or we never will? God save Bolehland.


A small update


Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar explained that Tan Hoon Cheng was arrested under Section 73(1) of the Act because her safety was under threat.

That's it, folks. He had lost it (his senses). At first, I refused to believe that Syed Hamid can be that stupid. It's just unthinkable. I knew all along he was not that clever but it's alright. At least he wont go into making suicidal statement. But then after this episode, I am dumbfounded. According to Param, back in the 80's, he was a very righteous man. What happened since then? What has changed Syed Hamid, who was once respected by Lawyers and Judges? Only himself and God knows.

TCJ

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: The racist politicians and the future of Bolehland

Guys and girls, I am just so angry that it is beyond words. I guess you know why. First, that moron Ahmad Ismail will not be apologizing after all and thinks that all the people who told him to apologize publicly should apologize to him instead for defaming him. What in the fuck is wrong with this motherfucker? He insulted the Chinese so badly and yet he is demanding for apology? I have accepted that asshole like his kind will never change. Nevermind.

I am more angry with Pak Lah and Najib because they are supposed to reprimand this asshole in the first place. What kind of PM and DPM we have over here in this country? They are fucking more caring for Saiful than us the Chinese? Their fucking political career is hanging by a thread and yet they are doing nothing about it to resolve this issue which angered the public. Just illustrated what kind of useless fucking leaders we have in Bolehland.

And I am extremely angry with CHICKEN SHIT MCA no balls President Ong Ka Ting and Gerakan no balls acting President Koh Tsu Koon. What the fuck are you waiting for? You still believe in UMNO? Do you wanna be a dog forever?



Fucking bark now... Woof wooffff... .



We are not talking about race over here. We are talking about humanity value. Do you think this bunch of idiots in UMNO have that value? Is your millions of earnings more important than your fucking pride? What the fuck are waiting for? Pull out from BN if you still have some pride left in you. You are already a disgrace to your ancestors and will continue to be a disgrace to your future generations. Even my Malay and Indian friends fucking despise you. Get out or get lost. The time is now. Decide!

Let me ask you my fellow Malay friends and countrymen once and for all. Let's be honest to yourself.

Does it really matter to you if Malay, Chinese, Indian, Sabahan, Sarawakian, Iban, Kadazan and so forth be the Prime Minister of Bolehland if you are earning from RM5000 to RM10000 a month? Will you mind? A capable leader can lead us to stable economy and harmony and ensure we develop as a nation. Why must the skin color or religion be a deciding factor to you? For me, I just want someone intelligent to be my leader. Doesn't matter if he is originally a Sakai. Who fucking cares?

Or would you want fucking UMNO to grant you the "Bumiputera right" which entitle you to 7% discount for properties and easy entrance to university but at the end you are only earning RM1200 per month while all the UMNO leaders' family are earning millions of ringgit and keep increasing the petrol price to feed their cronies? What's more, they keep telling you they are protecting your right but are actually ripping you off?

I am sure you are clever enough to decide what you want, my Malay friends.

All I can say is, we could have been better. We are Oil producing nation and yet we are in decline. How long more do you want to allow this nest of scheming bastards ripping you off? If Sept 16 takeover by DSAI fail, let's ensure in the next GE, UMNO's BN get a major thrashing.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Bolehland Breaking News: Official: Anwar won with bigger majority

It's official! Congratulation, DSAI. Remember to work hard for the Rakyat.
9.50pm:
Final official EC tally - Anwar got 31,195 votes, Arif Shah, 15,524, Hanafi, 92. Anwar won with a majority of 15,671.

Now, I know some of you are skeptical and cautiously optimistic about his victory. My advise is, give him a chance. If you can give BN 50 years by not coming out to vote, why not take this chance?

Well done, Permatang Pauh!

9.25pm:
Official EC results: With final five ballot boxes to go, Anwar has bagged 29,526 votes, Arif Shah (14,444) and Hanafi (89). Majority so far: 15,082.

9.12pm:
Official EC result: With 11 more boxes to go, Anwar has won the by-election with a 14,551 majority. He garnered 27,977 votes while BN's Arif Shah obtained 13,426 while Akim's Hanafi Hamat got 85.

8.32pm:
Unofficial PKR alert: Anwar wins with a majority of 17,652, obtaining 31,949 votes. BN's Arif Shah garnered 14,297 while Akim's Hanafi Hamat got 74.

8pm:
Unofficial: Anwar Ibrahim is the winner, obtaining a majority of 16,210 votes. He garnered 26,646 votes while Arif Shah Arif Omar got 10,436. His wife, Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail, won the seat with a 13,400 majority in the March 8 general election.



Way to go DSAI!


7.59pm: Unofficial latest count, Anwar has obtained 16,101 votes as opposed to Arif Shah's 6,071

7.43pm The EC starts to announce official results as per the ballot boxes it has counted. As it stands, Anwar is leading by 3,507 votes (or 48.11 percent).

The breakdown is as follows: Akim's Hanafi Hamat (nine votes), Anwar (5,398 votes) and Arif Shah (1,891).

So far 20 ballot boxes of a total of 111 have been opened and counted. Anwar had won in ALL these 20 boxes. In one particular box, he had obtained 441 votes compared to Arif's 14.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: The Bolehland's latest trend - Swearing on Quran

Desperate moment calls for desperate measure?

First off, we got the university dropped-out, attention seeking 23-year old Saiful Bukhari who purportedly swear on the Quran and then it was our lovely Deputy Prime Minister's turn, the part-time caretaker for Saiful Bukhari, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and then followed by the mafia looking Datuk Seri Tajol Rosli. What the fuck is this? The latest fucking trend in Bolehland? How desperate is that? You mean the court is not good enough to prove your innocence or your claim? Why you need to resort to holy swearing?

So that means all those fucking criminals rocked behind the bar waiting for their time to attend hearings in court can just fucking swear and get off? What do you think? Will those criminals swear? I bet they will if they can get off scot-free right after swearing. Why the fuck we need court of justice then? What we fucking need is more Quran or Bible or rather more holy books available for all the suspects to fucking swear. If they dare to swear, then they can be released.

With the current trend ongoing in Bolehland before Permatang Pauh by-election, I suddenly remember one fucking nice movie by Brad Pitt entitled "The Sleepers". In one of the scene, Robert DeNiro, a priest in that movie, swear on the bible that he offers nothing but the truth.



What happened next was, he lied in the court and he got the criminals off the hook for a murder charge. And according to the writer, Lorenzo Carcaterra, it was based on a true story.

I am sorry to say that at this point of time, I highly doubt Saiful, Najib and Tajol's swearing. It doesn't matter what kind of Sandiwara you'll be putting up next, I am very sure that the people has made up their mind. If they can give Wan Azizah such a huge victory, they can give DSAI a bigger one. As for Arif Shah, you can offer the voters RM100 but you can never offer them a CHANGE.

Stupidity in Bolehland has just gotten to a level worse. After swearing, they may offer to walk 5000 miles to Mecca to prove their innocence or claim or whatever.

Question of the day: Will you be willing to go to hell in order to save your political career? We don't live forever. Think about it.

TCJ

Monday, August 11, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: And now it's BN 5 PR 3


Boleh-Moan: I am not being negative but are we dreaming? Or rather am I dreaming? I have always harbored the hope of "Bangsa Malaysia" strongly but I just can''t see it happening to this hopeless bloody nation. Let's face it. Barbarians are among us. They incite hatred whenever they can for whatever the fuck reason that they can have. Are humans all born to be biased? WHY? I mean fucking WHY? I am Chinese. So what? Must you hate me because I am Chinese? I cant fucking change that. So FUCK YOU and FUCK YOUR THOUGHTS!

BN 1 PR 0
Ella is too sexy

PAS Youth demonstrated and BN is smiling.

BN 2 PR 0
Indonesian singer too sexy
As if one time is not enough, they did it again.

BN 3 PR 0
PAS Youth to protest over Avril Lavigne concert
At least they were consistent. Consistently crazy. If there's any claim that PAS will practice extremist policy and make our womans all wear tudung and cover their faces like batman, I will certainly believe it.

BN 3 PR 1 Anwar's sodomy case
This has bring abit of balance back to PR. If without DSAI, where will all these monkeys from PAS Youth be?

BN 4 PR 1 The long-standing disagreement between DAP and PAS.
Can they work together and not kill each other? I don't know man. PAS seems to enjoy ticking off DAP people and I just saw an UMNO and MCA kind of relationship over here.

BN 4 PR 2 Election campaign scandal four years ago
Maybe I am just so used to it. Used to BN screwing up and thus, it's becoming a norm. PR scored on this one.

BN 5 PR 3
A Nation with Lost Hope - The trashing of Bar Council
This is a draw. Violent fanatics from mostly opposition parties caused Bar Council meeting to cancel with chants of racial sentiments while BN practicing double standards as police are not stopping the demonstrators while urging the Bar Council to cancel the meeting.

If Pak Lah and his BN people did indeed planned the use of racial card to pull back some sort of support, he had succeeded. Finally he can afford a big smile. He succeeded with the help of PAS. What's more, he's getting an even bigger support from PKR debutant, the champion of race wannabe, Zulkifli Noordin. BN may lost popularity and credibility in the way they handle certain things which angered most of us. But I am slowly losing confident in PR because of PAS and Zulkifli Noordin. What's more, I have lost all my confidence in PAS and their ability to be a good ally to PKR and DAP.

Why must I fight against the tyrant only to be harboring false hope and fell into the trap of another tyrant? Unless DSAI get rid of PAS immediately, form PKR and DAP into one party or I may never regain the confident in PR. I don't mind my leader is Malay but I simply don't want extremist to be ruling. I still remember what PAS did to Terengganu the last time they rule over there. DONT RELATE RELIGION INTO ADMINISTRATION, you retard!

I am very confident DSAI will still win but what will happen next? He becomes Prime Minister with PAS's backing? What will PAS do next? Make all Malaysians regardless of race to wear Songkok and Tudung? Men and women queue up in different line? We have to change our name to Eddy Yulianto Abdullah? What else? If DSAI dont succumb to them, will they pull out and join BN and help BN regain back the Government? What's next in PAS Youth's agenda? Whatever it is, fuck them. UMNO Youth suffered badly because of their stupidity. Now, PAS Youth is joining them in the fast lane.

4 years is really a short time. All I can see is, 4 years from now, people will want to punish PAS badly so that they will finally be a thing of the past. As for me, I will have to spoil my fucking vote because this nation has no hope with UMNO Youth or PAS Youth. Hell, I don't even know if I will go and vote. I may just fucking watch Desperate Housewives and sip some lemon coke and don't give a flying fuck.

Now that's why I am so sick of politic. Uncle Nik, sack some people lah! Sack PAS Youth.

TCJ

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Teachers are Gangsters?

I know all the hype has been about DSAI's election campaign in Permatang Pauh. I would like to wish him all the best. I don't really know who will step up to challenge him but I feel sorry for that person. He or she will just merely show up, get some publicity and then lose badly (really big time motherfucking badly). Poor thing. Haha.

Honestly, I am still a little sick of politic. So let's talk about something else. I read an interesting article in the Star today, entitled "Teachers should not act like hooligans".

I can't help but to think about all the past horrible memory that I had as a little kid trying to make my grades in school. I fully agree with the writer. Some of the teachers during my time in primary school are really like some motherfucking big time gangsters. Let me share a few of the most horrible things that I've been through or personally witnessed. I can honestly say, we were all under Nazi ruling in school during those days.

Horrible incident number 1:
I was in standard 5 when I witnessed this. Terribly shocked and terrified and still feel horribly sorry for my classmate. It was in this session when the teacher was talking about the things that we love. So he asked us what are the things that we loved most. Some girls answered clothes or handbags, some said TV, some even said toys but there was one innocent fella who suddenly try to crack a really stupid joke by saying that he loves shit. He was instantly punished.

The teacher ordered him to go to the toilet and carry some shit with his hand and come back to the class and show it to him. At first, everyone was laughing. It was really funny. But then we were wrong. He really mean it. He shouted at that poor fella. He told him to really get some shit back. Poor guy. He went to the toilet, managed to grab some shit and wrap it up in tissue and came back. The teacher was not satisfied.

He demanded that the shit is supposed to be in his hand not in the tissue. How fucking evil. I will never forget this fucking asshole. I hope this teacher will one day trip and fall and smash his own fucking face into some dog or cat shit and accidentally swallow them. Fucking dip shit. Just by merely thinking of his fuck-face now make me angry.

Anyway, that poor fella again came back with the shit in his hand. How disgusting. Still this fucking asshole teacher is not satisfied. He wants that poor classmate of mine to smell it. Put it close to his nose and say "I love shit". My classmate did exactly as what he was told. He was terrified. He did not know what else he can do. So are we. We were all shocked. This is how loving our teacher is during those days. This fuckface have the same moustache like Adolf Hitler.



Horrible incident number 2:

I was doing my homework when one fucking stupid looking teacher came in to our class. This fuckface also have moustache that look like Adolf Hitler. He was very angry because the class was noisy. So he started pulling some boys out and asked them to identify the rest who were noisy. Unfortunately, my fucking classmate pointed out a number of us who were busily doing our homework and was obviously innocent and I was included. While most of them shook their head and helplessly agree to meet their faith, I decided to stand for myself. I told the teacher that I was innocent. I was doing my home work. I showed him my notebook. It was rather unfortunate.



Instead of believing me, he yelled at me and kicked me really hard and pulled me out like I was a criminal facing death penalty. He didn't stop there. He kept kicking me until he was satisfied. Then we were all caned by him. What a loving school teacher. I hope that he will spend the rest of his life rocking behind bar in Sungai Buloh Prison because of trying to sodomize some dogs. He's a fucking asshole.

All my life, I thought of taking revenge against this ugly teacher. I was hoping to do a "count of monte cristo" kind of thing to him one day (Count is the guy who after many years of planning, destroyed his enemies one by one). I thought that if I make it big one day, I will search his whereabout and fuck him up nicely and get my revenge. Forgive me. I was a little naive. He's not worth my time. His children will be smoking ganjas now and smacking him everyday like a pussy I think. He probably had a sex-change lately and became a fully transformed transvestite with a vagina hole. So fuck him and fuck all the idiot school teachers. They are really not worth my time.

I tell you my friend, there are probably few hundreds more incidents to share and I can go on and on because as I said, we were under Nazi ruling in school for 11 fucking years. You guys are so lucky these days to have camera phones. If I had camera phone back then, all these bastards will be flying kites right now. Anyway, if you say some of our police force are heartless people, the same can be applied to the teachers.

If you are a teacher and you are reading this, then fucking tell yourself to be a good teacher or I fucking curse that your children will grow up to be society rubbish, take ganjas and fucking smack you everyday when they grow up.

Ok. Time to chill. Hehe. Sorry for being so angry.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Reformasi or Kompromasi?

Let’s review the positives and the negatives. For the benefit of those who don’t understand:

reformasi = reform

Kompromasi = compromise

The positives of Reformasi

  • the birth of Bangsa Malaysia
  • the emergence of 2-party system and the people have more than just a choice
  • the reborn of true democracy (and Tunku’s soul may come back to Malaysia and say “Well Done”. Rest in peace, Tunku. We love you.)
  • the emergence of Sabah and Sarawak as powerful states and immediate development (obvious political reason, right?)
  • the end of Mamak style dictatorship
  • the end of Musa Hassan and Gani Patail
  • the true justice will be carried out hopefully
  • the end of daylight robbery and the drop of petrol price (and Petronas may become Non-Profit Organization perhaps :) )
  • the end of obvious stupidity (Burma, Myanmar …. Study Geography lah, fucker)
  • the end of sodomy. :) . I mean the end of Rakyat being sodomized

The negatives of Reformasi

the economy may suffer for a while

the government may take some time to be stable

the UMNO youth people may want to show cast their talent in Silat for a while

the PAS youth may want to continue to suggest banning sexy school uniform for a little while more

the mamak dictator will be angry for a long long while and start posting lots of shits in his blog

the current DPM may not talk to Rosmah for a little while

Khairy may have depression for a long long while and may not think of Maya Karin for a while :) (just kidding, Maya. Stay cute.)

Hishamuddin may not be able to become Hang Tuah and kiss his keris for a long long while (at least not in front of national television)

The positives of Kompromasi

first of all, are there any?

Opss ya. Chinese will continue to have chances to find more dirty money. Malays will continue to have NEP. Indians …. Err… machas will continue drinking anchor beer and enjoy a little while

Mamak will get to continue his bullshit for a long long while

Someone’s children may be rich politician for a long long while

The silent type of peace will re-emerge and stay for a long long while

Some people may drive Mercedes for a long long while

School uniform can remain sexy for a little while

Ella can still perform for a long long while :)

The negatives of Kompromasi

rakyat will continue to get sodomized for a long long while

Sabahans and Sarawakians will be ignored for a long long while

Democracy will be dead for a really long while

We may have to listen to more rubbish for a long long while

DSAI will be heartbroken for a really long while and may never have a chance to rebuild Bolehland (they may put him away again)

RPK’s Malaysia-Today will close down for a long long while and RPK himself may be kept quiet by some people for a long long while

Patrick Teoh may disappear for a really long while

Kenny Sia may not be so funny in a while (at least not so funny in his political view)

And as for myself will have to close down this blog and never use the internet in a while before I get my ass hunt down and end up being sodomized in the jail for a while

And there will be no more jokes about Bolehland in a long long while, my friend.

What the fuck? Apa macam?

Kompromasi for now la. I wanna sleep. Let me know the “reformasi” plan and I will shout with you guys tomorrow. LOL. I really gotta sleep. I am getting lots of grey hair lately because of worrying for Bolehland. Tak boleh tahan. Slumber lah! Good night.

TCJ

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