Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The BolehJokes Opinion: "Konsep Sama Sama Cari Makan" is still alive?

Zahrain thought that PKR and Penang will offer him lots of Angpow this year, but at the end, they give him a no-go. Hence he plays a yo-yo towards the stability of Pakatan by quitting PKR.

Konsep cari makan has existed in previous political system but nowadays, it isnt safe anymore. Who knows who can betray who? Guan Eng is no stupid fella. If he accept Zahrain and IGP recommendation to approve a RM 2 company to operate and manage Bukit Jambul Golf & Country Club, MACC will have an old visitor, which is Mr Lim Guan Eng himself.

So what the hell is this Zahrain up to? He's doing this for self-benefit or is he just a manipulative son of a bitch from BN to set up a trap for Guan Eng? Or is he just the typical "pemalas" wanna "cari makan senang senang", earn lots of commission by being the middle man and be able to spend alot of time banging balls at home?

Either way, fuck off to you Zahrain! We dont need rubbish like you. By the way, quit everything you hold and then disappear. Get a new life, get a sex change, get a cat, get a hobby but whatever you do, stay away from politic, you moron.

Nah! Courtesy of TCJ

Friday, October 9, 2009

Bolehjokes request: Does anyone wants to update this blog?

Dear Bolehland Comrades,

I hardly have any time or mood to update this blog. Does anyone wants to volunteer to update? Please let me know in the comment box. Thanks.


Sunday, August 2, 2009

The BolehJokes Opinion: Crime rate has increased? Why?

Dear Countrymen,

I just heard that Bolehland's crime rate has increased to more than 70% to 80 % since last year. Have you ever wonder why? For the longest time I could not understand.

But now I know why....

Hell! Our police are too busy on the streets! Arresting disgruntled citizens.

WAH! BIG BIG CRIMINALS LAH THESE GUYS! Anti ISA protesters only but bloody big deal to police.

Police said protesters are wasting their time and effort and rightly so. They were sweating whole day playing cat and mouse game with these people. After this, they gotta come out with reason to charge those odd 60 over fellas. They gotta come out with excuses as to why 100,000 others were not charged. Bloody fucking hardworking man these guys. And you said they were not efficient and lazy? Come on! I think come year end, they expect bonuses from Najib for working extra hard on the streets!

On the other hand, our lovely 1Malaysia ideologist reiterate again that we should not waste our time protesting and he is damn right again, just like our bulldozer police force. He is basically telling you to shut the fuck up and take the raping service as it is because you can yell all ya want trailer park and nothing gonna happen. The normal raping service resumes as usual after this. LOL!

But still I think we should do it more often. I mean the protest. Once the police get sick and tired of us one day, they will probably say "Lantak lah. Biar aje lah. Aku nak slumber ni!" (Fuck it. Let them protest all they want. I might as well take a nap!)

DALAM MIMPI BOLEH! (Maybe in our dreams, we can!)

And lastly our lovely retired cute old man, Tun Dr. M said he understands Malaysia Boleh (Malaysia can do it!) concept better than 1Malaysia. Looking at the present situation, of course we should understand why we are bOleh! LEPAK LAH! :)

In order to show Tun that I agree with his ideology of Malaysia Boleh!, the picture below is dedicated to him.

Malaysia BOLEH! LOL. BAH.... FUCK OFF!


Saturday, April 18, 2009

The BolehJokes Opinion: Freedom in Malaysia (the boleh version)

Malaysia Previously

Any mere mention of May 13 incident will land you into trouble. No joke.

Malaysia Today

You can talk about anything, we will never stop you from doing so. Just that we were saying not to talk about Altantuya, Razak Baginda, murder linking PM and his wife, racial issue, something that incite hatreds, emotional issue and errr.....what else...... oh ya, dont talk about the police force being corrupt as well ya. I'm serious. We are all good people.

What if they still do?

Then ISA lah! What else. They wanna taste Kamunting curry chicken, then try me.


This situation leads me to think about this movie called "Iron Monkey".

In this movie, the corrupt officer was so desperate to arrest the justice fighter cum bandit "Iron Monkey" that he ordered the arrest of anyone who has any link with Monkey. Basically, people who merely talk about Monkey were all arrested. haha.

They even arrested a person practicing his monkey stance.

Even monkey performer were not spared! haha.

Coming back to Bolehland, are we going to be in this situation very soon?

I hope not! Oh gosh.


Friday, April 10, 2009

The BolehJokes Humor: Something to enlighten your day

Interviewer: Since you're not being appointed into the cabinet, what are you gonna do?

Syed H: Hmm...I think I need to reinvent myself in order to stay relevant. Look at Madonna. She reinvented herself many times and remained so successful. I will start with spending some time with Samy to get some valuable advise in getting a wig.

Interviewer: Why did you order the arrest of Teresa Kok last time?
Syed H: I said it many times already (offended). I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT HER!
Interviewer: What do you mean by that?
Syed H: Chua Soi Lek was watching her! She should thank me instead. How ungrateful.

Interviewer: Do you hate Raja Petra?
Syed H: Of course I do! I am better looking and yet he's more popular. How unfair!

Interviewer: What's your plan of action to regain the Indians' confidence in MIC?
Samy: Well it's simple. I'm going to request for more seats. More seats, more indians will support.

Interviewer: Most people claimed that they despise and dislike you.
Samy: I know. It's not my fault. It's my hair stylist! I wanted to change my hairstyle long time ago but was advised that, as long as I am the MIC chairman, it should remain the same. It's fengshui matters you know.
Interviewer: ????

Interviewer: They are all laughing at you right now. They said that you've been sidelined. What's your thought on that?

KJ: Laugh all they want. I got the most important job right now. I am recruiting youth and I will start with all those Mat Rempits. They can contribute to society. Infact, I've been contemplating for a long time whether to get myself a Motorbike courtesy of the Government's fund.

Interviewer: Previously, rumours has it that there is something going on with you and Maya.

KJ: I look into the mirror everyday and I knock my head against it everytime. Maya is not as desperate as some people thought.

Interviewer: Dr Mahathir has been critisizing you lately, putting you in an unfavorable position.
KJ: I know I am not as good looking as as his son Mukhriz but give me a chance! Being ugly is not a crime!

Interviewer: Was Mukhriz's appointment to the cabinet your arrangement, Tun?
Tun M: Nonsense! He sent his resume to Najib himself with his Dell laptop. Of course, he put my name as the referee which adds alot of credibility.

Interviewer: It was claimed that you are the power from behind and that Najib is doing everything according to your advise.
Tun M: Another rubbish. I didnt advise him to marry Rosmah but he did! That shows that he didnt need my advise.

Interviewer: Muhyiddin said that you are like a "pop star"..
Tun M: I know! If only I am alittle bit taller, I would have remained in Bollywood.

Interviewer: People claimed that you listen to Dr. Mahathir and act upon his advice?
Najib: When you go to the clinic, do you listen to the doctor's advise?
Interviewer: Yes
Najib: Exactly. He's a doctor. What's wrong with listening to his advise?

Interviewer: Why you didnt select Khairy into your cabinet?
Najib: It's the face-factor. I cant help it, ok? It's not easy on my part. As I said, UMNO needs a new image!

JUST KIDDING! Dont hate me ya. :)


Thursday, April 9, 2009

The BolehJokes Opinion: Azilah and Sirul sentenced to death

The verdict is final. The two police special action force personnel were sentenced to the gallows by the Shah Alam High Court today for the murder of Mongolian national Altantunya Shaarriibuu in December 2007.

Any human being with a clear mind can only imagine why would these 2 police officers brutally murder an innocent Mongolian girl without any reason at all. It's unthinkable. I aint going further on this.

Anyway, may the poor girl rest in peace.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The BolehJokes Opinion: What does Najib have to do to regain the support of Chinese and Indians?

This is a trying time for our new prime minister. The results in the 3 by-elections showed a lack of trust and support for his premiership. It shows that it is the direct rejection of Barisan Nasional as a whole and not towards Tun Abdullah Badawi's leadership. At the way it is going, an immediate or may I put it as a drastic change is needed to save BN from further downfall in the next general election. So he's in a make or break situation and a wrong decision will ensure that he goes down to history as the first BN chairman to lose the Government to the opposition.

The good news for Najib is, he will be better prepared for the challenges ahead unlike his predecessor, Tun Abdullah who was in a long honeymoon period after the massive victory in 2004 election and was caught unprepared by the heavy influence of Anwar's return to politic.

So what does Najib have to do to regain the confidence and support of the Chinese and Indians?

In my opinion, he will have to make some bold moves that will probably not go down too well with people in his own party. He will have to be really brave in doing so.

1. Remove the extremists in his party (mainly UMNO Youth members). Pump in new blood into the party and change their mentality to be more open and approachable to all races. Anwar will never allow any extremist to exist in Pakatan because this is his main political agenda. To build a complete Malaysia for Malaysian with no concern for the color of the skin. No matter this is just his political gimmick or it is really his ambition, this formula has worked successfully. This is why he was favored strongly by all. He will also have to encourage the Malay politicians to garner the support of other races. Ultimately, it is better to be loved and supported by all Malaysians rather than just being loved by all Malays.

2. Form BN into one. This will be very difficult as it will mean that the Chinese, Indians, Sabahan and Sarawakians will have to give up their high post in their respective parties and take a lesser role in a united BN. Let's look at PKR. The party comprises of Malays, Chinese, Indians and other races and their success gave a big hint that Malaysians want to be united. By keeping the same format as UMNO, MCA, MIC and others will not work anymore. Going back to the old way of Mahathir's style of administration will ensure further damages. If BN is not fully rejected now, it will be fully rejected in the future.

3. In perhaps the boldest move of all, he will have to select 2 deputies from other races following the same format as Lim Guan Eng in Penang. This will definitely be a jaw-dropping move and will almost certain to return a massive gain for BN. However, he will be in a catch-22 situation as it will definitely not go down too well with Muhyiddin and other Vice-Presidents of UMNO. Infact, it will definitely not go down too well with the extremists in his party. However, this will return the confidence to all Malaysians and prove to the nation that he is really firm in his forming of 1 race and 1 nation. The Malaysian nation. Whatever agenda that the Opposition may have, will not be able to match this. But the biggest headache will be selecting 2 capable deputies. In Ong Tee Keat, he has someone who is still strongly loved and supported by certain Chinese (especially the people in Cheras and Ampang) but Samy Vellu is highly despised by not only the Indians but almost every Malaysians. So who can he select?

Time is running out soon and these are the few ways of how BN can be saved. Question remained as to whether he is brave enough to make these bold moves.

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