Friday, June 13, 2008

The Bolehland Daily: Ministers are ‘already underpaid'

(malaysiakini) Earlier during his one-hour speech, Najib had quoted free-market economist Adam Smith to argue that Malaysia's fuel subsidies had been inefficient. He cited the example of local fishermen who got diesel at RM1 per litre as it was heavily subsidised by the government.The levels of fish caught have stagnated while the use of diesel went up, lamented Najib.

He said the government's move to slash fuel subsidies was "the only sensible macro policy"."In terms of the nation, we don't want to use oil wastefully," said Najib, who described last week's sharp fuel hike of around 40 percent as "politically painful" and "difficult".

Najib also explained that it was "important to educate the Malaysian public that the day of reckoning will come" as the country will become a net importer of oil in four years.

Later, during the question-and-answer session, he was asked to justify the much-criticised slashing of ministers' entertainment allowances by only 10 percent, and the curbing of their all-expenses paid holidays to countries in the Asean region.

Najib defended the move, saying that cabinet ministers were "already underpaid in Malaysia" relative to the private sector."Don't begrudge us for what we have," he pleaded.

Najib also defended the Internal Security Act, which allowed detention without trial, citing the legislation as a key weapon in the country's defence against global and regional terrorism. However, in his speech he did not specifically name ISA, which he referred to as a "pre-emptive legislation" introduced by the British during the war against the communists."The caveat is that we don't abuse it."

The BolehJokes thought:

Oh My God! He's driving me crazy. Can someone just fucking slap him?

I'm not just angry. I am super-duper big time fucking angry. Ministers underpaid? When Zakaria Mat Deros was alive, he can afford to build a mansion and he's not even an important minister. And you got the fucking guts to say the word underpay.

Fuck OFF!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Motivated by money, power and popularity?

What's the first thing that came to your mind as to why a person wants to be a minister of this fucked-up country called Bolehland? Let's be fucking honest with ourselves. It's either money, power or popularity or all 3 together.

Seriously, I dont bloody mind if they are motivated by money, power or popularity. Why would any Tom, Dick and Harry wants to work so hard to become minister if they ain't getting anything in the end?

But that doesn't mean they can rob openly from the people. Bolehland is already fucking poor. Dont let the people suffer more. Here are the list of suggestions on how our Ministers can make more money:

Endorse a product:

The Pak Lah HairGel by Badawi

Mahathir's Fried Mamak Mee - famous in KL and PJ and some say JB

Mahathir's stay young secret with So So Young

Speak at a conference:

Malaysia's women forum - Keynote speaker: Rafidah Aziz

4th Annual Effective 4th Floor Management - Extended presentation by Khairy J.

Set up a training school

Hishamuddin's School of Genius

KJ's English School (The Oxford Genius)

Publish Books

The Chua Soi Lek Sex Scandal - My side of the story by Chua S.L

From Hero to Zero: The insightful thought of a loser - by Semi Value

Be a columnist in Magazine

101 ways on how to be an effective politician by Mahathir Mohd

How I manage my daily hairstyles by Syed Hamid

Part-time guest appearances in movies and tv shows

Macam-macam Aznil - Guest appearance by Khir Toyo

Sembilu VI - with guest appearance by Mike Tyson (Mohd Taib)

Gadis Impian - featuring guest appearance by Azalina Othman

Set up blogs and invite advertisements

Since no corruption is needed for these morons to be rich, thus they will be more popular with the people. With the massive attention given to them by the paparazzi, they are naturally more powerful. It's a win-win situation. Think about it. Hehe.

Well, I guess not. Fuck off!

Monday, June 9, 2008

The BolehJokes Humor: Ideas to change your lifestyle

After the fucking fuel-hike, every other fucking things will follow. Infact some machas already told me, maybe parking also affected. Parking fee have to increase because of fuel-hike! Haha. BOLEH!

No more fucking expensive toy cars. Riding mountain bike and singing "ah la la la la long" is all you can afford.

akk... ahh...! No more cinema shows. You better hope that your neighbour can perform a free "wayang kulit" show. And no! Even superman cannot save your ass if you have no money, nevermind Badawi.

You must be fucking crazy if you still think about concerts. FORGET IT. Just tell your next door Uncle to sing you "killing me softly". That's what the Government is doing to us anyway.

Guys, are you fucking crazy? No more long hours on the phone. Use pigeons to deliver your love letters to your other half. Well, you can write as many pages as you want for free! No fucking Government Tax at least.

Girly, no more romantic dinner in places like Victoria Station or San Francisco Steakhouse. Dont fucking blame your boyfriend for bringing you to a fucking Chow Kuey Teow stall nearby your neighborhood. His pocket is tight because of fucking badawi.

and watch... as BN motherfuckers take more money away from you and me.

And that my friend is the fucking vision 2020 for us! FUCKING HILARIOUS!

So how are you feeling right now? FUCK RIGHT?

Screw those bloody bastards!

The Bolehland Daily: Cash rebates from this Saturday

The government had initially set the rebate date for those who have already paid their road taxes in April and May as July 1.

"But looking at the situation, those who have paid their road taxes in April and May can begin claiming their rebates from June 14," said the prime minister.

The BolehJokes humors and thoughts:
My friend Muthu was confused about the rebate thing. So I told him a simple explanation. Let's say I fucking rob you RM100, and then I give you back RM2.00 so that you can take a bus home. Am I caring? HELL YEAH!

More fuel increase likely

Despite the measures announced today, the worst is not over yet, according to the prime minister.

When asked to comment on Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister Shahrir Samad's assurance that "prices will stay until March", Abdullah shook his head.

"We are still analysing this as the rise in world prices of oil is too quick (over the last few days)," said Abdullah.

The BolehJokes humors and thoughts:
Analysing what the fuck? Analyse your dick as it gets smaller each fucking day, fuck face!

More measure coming

As for the measures introduced today, he said that it is not the last.

"Although, some of the announcements today were already planned for earlier, we decided to release them one at a time. This is so that there won't be any confusion," he added.

The BolehJokes humors and thoughts:
More measures to suck my earning dry? FUCK OFF!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

The Bolehland Daily: More Excuses From The Sleeping PM

Sorry for the late update. It took me 2 fucking days to recover from my anger towards the fuel-hike issue. Again, forgive my choice of words. When we are dealing with fuckers who screw our lives, we just simply have to use the most effective word which is "FUCK"!

As expected, apart from telling us to change our fucking lives, the Hotshot Mr Clean Wannabe came out with some expected excuses. The very typical type. Here goes the list of bullshits:

1) The premier said the government had held out for as long as possible but the steep price of oil has risen rapidly in the world market.

2) “The government would do all it could to alleviate the burden experienced by the people, especially by those in the lower income group and among the steps to be taken was increasing direct aid to them apart from assuring prices of essential goods remained affordable,” he said.

3) The PM added that the government would also take steps to save on public sector expenditure, increase the range of goods under the price control scheme, improve public transportation and postpone projects that are not urgently needed.

4) Despite of all these, Abdullah said the national economy experienced encouraging growth last year proving the nation was on the right track. “Real Gross Domestic Product (GDP) growth last year was at 6.3 per cent despite a challenging world environment.

5) He also pointed out that the government succeeded in reducing the national deficit to 3.2 per cent. Household income of Malaysians increased from RM3,249 in 2004 to RM3,686 in 2007, an average increase of more 4.3 per cent a year

6) Poverty rate has been reduced from 5.7 per cent in 2004 to 3.6 per cent in 2007, while hardcore poverty it dropped from 1.2 per cent to 0.7 per cent during the same period

It's so fucking great that I forgot how to appreciate it. No kidding. I thought oil prices drop down due to lower consumption as earlier reported? If the reports are accurate, we are going to pay a fucking staggering RM4 per litre comes August as a FUCKING OIL PRODUCING NATION? Zero subsidy. What a fucking good deal for me. You forgot that the oil belongs to Malaysian and not Petronas. This fucking country belongs to Malaysian, not fucking Badawi or bloody fucking UMNO. So till the very fucking last drop of oil, it should go to us and NOT YOUR FUCKING POCKET, asshole!

This fucking loser always seem to go for lousy and desperate excuses. Just few days ago, he fucking said RM2.70 is low when compared to other countries in the region. A loser making typical loser excuse. WHY DONT YOU FUCKING COMPARE US TO FUCKING ETHOPIA? WE WILL BE LIKE SO FUCKING GREAT!

The Government would do all to lessen my burden? NO FUCKING THANKS. Just fucking step down and fucking dig a fucking hole for your fucking self and jump the fuck into it and eat shit. That would fucking lessen my burden!

Save on public sector expenditure? First, you need to save on FUCKING UMNOPUTRAS EXPENDITURE. You ride motorbike to work and I will fucking believe you, moron. Dont even get me started on fucking public transport. Postpone projects that are not urgently needed? You send one more fucking useless ANGKASAWAN up the sky and I will fucking bust your balls! (If I can find it by then).

GDP growth? FUCKING WOW! Ever since you fucking tookover the office, your fucking reputation has been "Price Increase" while my salary is still the same. Dont you ever fucking forget that, you fucking dumbfuck.

Household income improved from RM3,249 in 2004 to RM3,686 in 2007? So fucking great! You never fucking put into account of fucking INFLATION! As usual, since you are a fucking dumbfuck and a fucking school drop-out, you can never calculate accurately. Do you fucking know what is inflation or not in the first fucking place? Asshole.

Poverty rate has been reduced from 5.7 per cent in 2004 to 3.6 per cent in 2007? So fucking great again. SO YOU FUCKING MEAN THAT THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE PROTESTING OUT THERE ARE VERY FUCKING RICH BUT VERY FUCKING BORED?

Listen. Go home and finger your wife, retard! And then fucking step down and go fuck yourself!
PEACE, Motherfucker!

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