Saturday, November 29, 2008

When the joker lost his jokes

Dear friends / readers / countrymen,

I'm going through some turmoils in my life lately. I have no mood or whatsoever to write or comment about our current political situation at this moment. I saw the Yoga controversy, I just threw the newspaper away. This country is just so full of stupid politicians who are beyond help and at this moment, not worth my time debating about it.

Lately, I struggle with my career and personal life and sort of lost my way. I lost confidence in myself, I lost my love one, I lost a friend who died all of sudden, I lost my way in my work, I lost it all. I just couldn't figure out a way to get out of the situation.

I hate the way I look, I hate my weight, I hate my height, I hate my job, I hate the way my country is being run at the moment and to sum it all, I hate my life. At this point of time, I feel so alone.

Forgive me for being boring but I need a break again before I break down. I will always love RPK and support him. Please keep fighting for what's right for the people of Bolehland, Your Grace. May God bless you and the people of Bolehland.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Najib, the economy saviour?

Ok. I'm not a big fan of Najib but I think what he's done recently is brilliant. Most people like to jump to conclusion about many things but if you fucking use your brain for a moment and think properly, what Najib or his advisor has done is actually holding the economy.

Here are the reasons (This is only my opinion. You can agree to disagree.)

  1. By raising the petrol price, the Government will earn alot of money and have alot in the reserve fund. The prices of other things will go up. Now the Government is reducing the petrol price to RM2.00, not too far away from RM1.92. The prices of other things dont drop, which means the businesses will have more profits as the cost is lesser. Same demand, more profits. Of course the people suffer alittle by spending more but ultimately it is needed to hold on to the economy.

  2. With the strong reserve fund available, the Government is investing the money back into the market which will balance back the demand and supply. Remember your lesson in school? The theory of demand and supply.

  3. The subsidy package of RM625. This is given to you to spend instead of keeping. The Government knows that with the money in hand, people will spend. This again stabilise the economy as businesses need demand to sustain.

  4. The EPF contribution drop to 8% is another brilliant move. That means people will have more money to spend. Yes yes.... I know it's not good when you are old but for now, we need extreme measure to hold on to the economy or else we will all be dead.
The Government is trying very hard to stabilise the economy, which is not a bad thing for me. Afterall, this is their last card on the table. The BN Government has lost its reputation badly which needed no further explanation. But if they save the economy in this trying time, this will be in their propoganda in the next election and it will be really strong. I am not surprise that if they are successful, the cushion might just change and people will swing back to BN and support them. Afterall, people are usually very grateful to economy saviour. The opposition will need to work really hard to pin him down.

So can Najib save the economy, be the national hero and win you back? In my opinion, he's doing a brilliant job so far.


Thursday, November 6, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Back after a long break but still sick of Bolehland

You know, 50 years of Independence has not taught us any shit! We are still the same bunch of fucking clowns wondering about how our nation should progress and have no fucking clue. We are still busy squabbling, arguing childish facts, politicking matters like road sign language or mini fucking skirts and many more stupidity which skips my mind at the moment.

I am really fucking sick of this country. Plus, I have lost my patience in PAS. I seriously don't think this bunch of extremist are going to be the people that can uplift the nation to another stage. Why do they keep politicizing religion? This is not Islamic, we are doing this the Islamic way or according to Islam? Why must relate religion into your fucking administration? For the last fucking time, let me tell you that religion is SELF PREFERENCE, you fuckheads! Dont you just fucking get it? Look at the fucking simple explanation below and work out your fucking formula.

Country administration - Strategic planning
Religion - Self preference

Supporting Manchester United Football Club - Self preference
Managing Manchester United Football Club - Strategic planning

Can I fucking say that we cant do this, we cant do that because it is not the Manchester United way of doing it? What about Liverpool and Arsenal supporters? Will they agree with your Manchester United way of doing things? Anything that relates to self preference should be left out of administration. Your administration strategies should be about bringing the nation to further improvement and that's all it is about. Why must complicate matters into your self preference? Fucking clowns. How can I trust that PAS can manage the country? No chance. I will not fucking vote for them. No fucking way.

Plus the fucking economy is the main concern of the world. Yet our politicians, be it BN or Pakatan seemed to be very hardworking in attacking each other rather than working things out for the people.

Plus, the majority of fucking Bolehland citizens will only jump to conclusion, point fingers, start some childish debates, siding the Opposition like a no-brainer and critisizing every Government plan. Not all the things done by Opposition are correct and that includes Anwar, the man that I respect alot. So stop being a no-brainer. Stop worshiping Opposition and support them for everything they do. Go for what's right. Dont be a fucking clown.

Now now, I know you will jump to the conclusion like a no-brainer YET AGAIN and start cursing me or may want to attack me with some really pain in the ass comments. All I did was to tell you straight to your fucking face that, it is the truth. And truth fucking hurts! So fuck them and fuck you too!



Saturday, October 11, 2008

Taking a Boleh Break

Dear All,

Sick of the latest development in Bolehland so I'm not gonna give a flying fuck about politic for a little while.

In Distraught!


Friday, October 3, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Choosing a Prime Minister

Bolehjokes shorties: I am perturbed by the recent crackdown on bloggers. It's really sad when freedom of expression is at an uncompromising situation lately. Maybe the authority just got sick of us bloggers. Maybe because we are just too honest. Whatever the hell it is, I will keep blogging. Blow me? :). Anyway, free RPK and leave other bloggers alone.

Choosing a Prime Minister

In the United States, they are the people's choice.

In Bolehland, it is their choice.

Something just provoked my mind lately. While the people of United States of America get to decide who to be the next President, we don't have a say in deciding the Prime Minister of Bolehland. How weird. Of course the genius of mind-twister like Mahathir will claim that it is Bolehland's version of democracy and it's different with USA.

Of course this came across my mind as the discussion about Pak Lah handing over power to Najib is getting alot of attention lately. The thing is, the nation dont get to decide so how can we know he is the nation's choice to be the next in charge? When Mahathir stepped down, he hand-picked his successor without the nation's approval as well. Of course internally in the party, there will be voting by party members to decide who will be the President of the party and naturally, the UMNO President will be the Prime Minister. But then again, this will be the party members' decision instead of the nation.

What's more, it is just members of UMNO that get to decide the next Prime Minister of Bolehland. It just struck my mind that other component parties in BN will just have to succumb to their decision which means whether or not MCA, MIC, PBS, UPKO, etc want Najib to be the next Prime Minister is not important. How democratic is that? And of course any party that disagree with the appointment can vote for a motion of no confidence against the PM but then one have to take into account of the serious repercussion.

More importantly, why cant we, the people, decide who is the next Prime Minister? How do you know I want Najib to be my Prime Minister instead of Muhyiddin, Tengku Razaleigh or others? Bolehland's version of democracy is really questionable. How can we be recognised as a democratic nation puzzles me.


Monday, September 22, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: OH MY GOD!!!!!!

In perhaps one of the most suicidal statement of all time, ex-deputy president of SAPP and the current Deputy Chief Minister of Sabah Raymond Tan claimed on Saturday that he had been instrumental in preventing the arrest of party president Yong Teck Lee in June in relation to allegations of corruption. He said he had pleaded with Abdullah not to arrest Yong as it would be a bad move.

“This is an admission by a BN deputy chief minister that the prime minister can interfere with ACA work,” said Chong Pit Fah, SAPP newly-appointed information chief.

That's why the title is "OH MY GOD!". Tell me. How can he be so stupid? I am shellshocked! He just busted the PM's bubble and instead of helping himself, he got the PM into the act. Now they will both be questioned by the people as to why the PM is interfering with ACA's work and what's more, how come a Deputy Chief Minister can persuade the PM to stop it.

This is absolutely schoolboys standard of politic. Unbelievably dumb. I'm sure Pak Lah will now be cursing and swearing and shouting "Why Raymond, Wahai Raymond, WHY?"

What the hell is wrong with Bolehland? We seem to have substandard politician everywhere. Come on guys! Hire some really qualified political adviser please. Stop hiring abang - adik as your advisor. It wont work. Dont keep putting yourselves to shame.

As for Raymond, he may need to study politic for 5 more years before getting involve. Pure crazy statement.


Thursday, September 18, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Will he, will he not? Is he deceiving us?

He's lying. It's a big political lie. I'm in charge. I'm still in charge!

We said we will deny them 2/3 majority. We did it. We said we will take Selangor, Perak and Penang. We did it. We said we will win big in Permatang Pauh. We did it. And now we said we got the numbers and they again denied it. When will they ever learn?

For the past few days, I've been thinking. I've been thinking about what can Anwar gain by lying about the numbers. What will he gain for bluffing? I couldn't think of an answer. Unless he's an extremely sad attention seeker. But hey, does he need that? Come on. If he's being exposed for his lies, he will lose credibility and the confidence of the people. Too much of a risk, isnt it? He's rapidly gaining popularity by the days, why would he commit to such a suicidal move? It seems senseless.

On the other hand, I've been thinking about how many times the PM deceived me. WOW! It's like most of the time. He aint gonna marry anytime soon, and boom... he got married. Petrol price aint gonna be hiked up anytime now, boom.... the next day it was hiked up and many more which skips my mind at the moment. I hate to point the obvious but he has a history of contradictions. That is why he is a weak leader. He failed to keep his promise most of the time. No offense.

After all the careful thinking, I choose to believe in DSAI. It may be delayed, but it will happen. After all, it's not an overnight decision for the PM to step down. It wont be easy for him. Imagine letting go of something in your possession for so long. It's difficult. You saw Mahathir cried like nobody's business when he stepped down. When you are in power, it's hard to let go.

But ultimately, that's the people's choice. One way or another, please respect it.


Monday, September 15, 2008

The Bolehland Breaking News: A New Malaysia?

(Malaysiakini) Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim told his supporters to have faith as a new government was in sight.

"Tonight on the eve of Malaysia day, we are ready to form the government tomorrow," he said to loud cheers from the crowd.

He said that he had the required number of members of parliament to form the government.

He said that Pakatan Rakyat has submitted a letter to Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi today, seeking a meeting with him for a smooth transition.

"Tomorrow is the day we are ready to form the government. But the best time, I tell you, is when we meet the prime minister.

"A peaceful transition is paramount," he added.

He was talking to more than 25,000 people who had gathered at the Kelana Jaya stadium to celebrate Pakatan Rakyat's Hari Malaysia celebration.

Bolehjokes opinion:
No joke? Really that fast, DSAI? Way to go. Please take extra precautionary measures. Don't slip up. We are counting on you. Thank you, DSAI. God bless you.

If this went through smoothly, our dream has come true and God has finally answered our prayers. All the struggle is well worth it. Finally, I wanna scream to the top of my lungs, MERDEKA!

Syabas Anak Malaysia! Keranamu, kita bebas dari kezaliman! Syabas.


Saturday, September 13, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: A bloody fool's mind that caused the use of ISA

Call him stupid. Call him crazy. But he has the ability to give the Government to use the old excuses to arrest a few people. What's more, he's safe. He was just suspended for 3 years for whatever stupid things that he had done. What kind of justification is that, you tell me. Will there be more? Is this going to be Ops Lalang 2, the Chedet's old trick?

As we are advancing Sept 16, some people are really getting desperate. They believed the best way to destroy the plan is through intimidation and the most effective way is to use the ISA. Afterall, didnt our lovely Prime Minister vowed to destroy the plan? Not many Malaysians can take torture. Hell, not many human beings can stand torture. So I can understand their grievances.

I am sure the MPs in Taiwan would have been informed about the ISA breakdowns. Will they stand firm on the crossover plan? Human minds changes too rapidly. You can never know. But if they love the nation, this is our only chance. Unfortunately, it is in their hand and not in the hand of the people like me.

As we pride our nation as one with the system of democracy, I am most ashamed to confess my feeling that we are more like living in the Nazi era. The only difference is, there's no mass killings. But... I said but, there may be mass incarceration of BN's political enemy.

For the next few days, I am really worried for DSAI, Uncle Lim Kit Siang and Tok Guru Nik Aziz. The only way to stop the plan of Anwar is to have more arrest, cause more unrest and continue to intimidate the nation. Some times I wonder why human being can be so power crazy that they lost the basic fundamental of a human nature. Where is the love? Sometimes it's hard to imagine that these people were once the young and cute baby who will grow up with full of promises and end up being a tyrant.

We are now living in the 21st century and yet we have the mindset of barbarian ruling our nation. All the while, we are living in the double standard system of democracy especially during the Mahathir's era if you dont realise it already. When will we break free? When will we finally enjoy the true democratic system? Or we never will? God save Bolehland.

A small update

Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar explained that Tan Hoon Cheng was arrested under Section 73(1) of the Act because her safety was under threat.

That's it, folks. He had lost it (his senses). At first, I refused to believe that Syed Hamid can be that stupid. It's just unthinkable. I knew all along he was not that clever but it's alright. At least he wont go into making suicidal statement. But then after this episode, I am dumbfounded. According to Param, back in the 80's, he was a very righteous man. What happened since then? What has changed Syed Hamid, who was once respected by Lawyers and Judges? Only himself and God knows.


Saturday, September 6, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: The racist politicians and the future of Bolehland

Guys and girls, I am just so angry that it is beyond words. I guess you know why. First, that moron Ahmad Ismail will not be apologizing after all and thinks that all the people who told him to apologize publicly should apologize to him instead for defaming him. What in the fuck is wrong with this motherfucker? He insulted the Chinese so badly and yet he is demanding for apology? I have accepted that asshole like his kind will never change. Nevermind.

I am more angry with Pak Lah and Najib because they are supposed to reprimand this asshole in the first place. What kind of PM and DPM we have over here in this country? They are fucking more caring for Saiful than us the Chinese? Their fucking political career is hanging by a thread and yet they are doing nothing about it to resolve this issue which angered the public. Just illustrated what kind of useless fucking leaders we have in Bolehland.

And I am extremely angry with CHICKEN SHIT MCA no balls President Ong Ka Ting and Gerakan no balls acting President Koh Tsu Koon. What the fuck are you waiting for? You still believe in UMNO? Do you wanna be a dog forever?

Fucking bark now... Woof wooffff... .

We are not talking about race over here. We are talking about humanity value. Do you think this bunch of idiots in UMNO have that value? Is your millions of earnings more important than your fucking pride? What the fuck are waiting for? Pull out from BN if you still have some pride left in you. You are already a disgrace to your ancestors and will continue to be a disgrace to your future generations. Even my Malay and Indian friends fucking despise you. Get out or get lost. The time is now. Decide!

Let me ask you my fellow Malay friends and countrymen once and for all. Let's be honest to yourself.

Does it really matter to you if Malay, Chinese, Indian, Sabahan, Sarawakian, Iban, Kadazan and so forth be the Prime Minister of Bolehland if you are earning from RM5000 to RM10000 a month? Will you mind? A capable leader can lead us to stable economy and harmony and ensure we develop as a nation. Why must the skin color or religion be a deciding factor to you? For me, I just want someone intelligent to be my leader. Doesn't matter if he is originally a Sakai. Who fucking cares?

Or would you want fucking UMNO to grant you the "Bumiputera right" which entitle you to 7% discount for properties and easy entrance to university but at the end you are only earning RM1200 per month while all the UMNO leaders' family are earning millions of ringgit and keep increasing the petrol price to feed their cronies? What's more, they keep telling you they are protecting your right but are actually ripping you off?

I am sure you are clever enough to decide what you want, my Malay friends.

All I can say is, we could have been better. We are Oil producing nation and yet we are in decline. How long more do you want to allow this nest of scheming bastards ripping you off? If Sept 16 takeover by DSAI fail, let's ensure in the next GE, UMNO's BN get a major thrashing.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Bolehland Breaking News: Official: Anwar won with bigger majority

It's official! Congratulation, DSAI. Remember to work hard for the Rakyat.
Final official EC tally - Anwar got 31,195 votes, Arif Shah, 15,524, Hanafi, 92. Anwar won with a majority of 15,671.

Now, I know some of you are skeptical and cautiously optimistic about his victory. My advise is, give him a chance. If you can give BN 50 years by not coming out to vote, why not take this chance?

Well done, Permatang Pauh!

Official EC results: With final five ballot boxes to go, Anwar has bagged 29,526 votes, Arif Shah (14,444) and Hanafi (89). Majority so far: 15,082.

Official EC result: With 11 more boxes to go, Anwar has won the by-election with a 14,551 majority. He garnered 27,977 votes while BN's Arif Shah obtained 13,426 while Akim's Hanafi Hamat got 85.

Unofficial PKR alert: Anwar wins with a majority of 17,652, obtaining 31,949 votes. BN's Arif Shah garnered 14,297 while Akim's Hanafi Hamat got 74.

Unofficial: Anwar Ibrahim is the winner, obtaining a majority of 16,210 votes. He garnered 26,646 votes while Arif Shah Arif Omar got 10,436. His wife, Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail, won the seat with a 13,400 majority in the March 8 general election.

Way to go DSAI!

7.59pm: Unofficial latest count, Anwar has obtained 16,101 votes as opposed to Arif Shah's 6,071

7.43pm The EC starts to announce official results as per the ballot boxes it has counted. As it stands, Anwar is leading by 3,507 votes (or 48.11 percent).

The breakdown is as follows: Akim's Hanafi Hamat (nine votes), Anwar (5,398 votes) and Arif Shah (1,891).

So far 20 ballot boxes of a total of 111 have been opened and counted. Anwar had won in ALL these 20 boxes. In one particular box, he had obtained 441 votes compared to Arif's 14.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: The Bolehland's latest trend - Swearing on Quran

Desperate moment calls for desperate measure?

First off, we got the university dropped-out, attention seeking 23-year old Saiful Bukhari who purportedly swear on the Quran and then it was our lovely Deputy Prime Minister's turn, the part-time caretaker for Saiful Bukhari, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and then followed by the mafia looking Datuk Seri Tajol Rosli. What the fuck is this? The latest fucking trend in Bolehland? How desperate is that? You mean the court is not good enough to prove your innocence or your claim? Why you need to resort to holy swearing?

So that means all those fucking criminals rocked behind the bar waiting for their time to attend hearings in court can just fucking swear and get off? What do you think? Will those criminals swear? I bet they will if they can get off scot-free right after swearing. Why the fuck we need court of justice then? What we fucking need is more Quran or Bible or rather more holy books available for all the suspects to fucking swear. If they dare to swear, then they can be released.

With the current trend ongoing in Bolehland before Permatang Pauh by-election, I suddenly remember one fucking nice movie by Brad Pitt entitled "The Sleepers". In one of the scene, Robert DeNiro, a priest in that movie, swear on the bible that he offers nothing but the truth.

What happened next was, he lied in the court and he got the criminals off the hook for a murder charge. And according to the writer, Lorenzo Carcaterra, it was based on a true story.

I am sorry to say that at this point of time, I highly doubt Saiful, Najib and Tajol's swearing. It doesn't matter what kind of Sandiwara you'll be putting up next, I am very sure that the people has made up their mind. If they can give Wan Azizah such a huge victory, they can give DSAI a bigger one. As for Arif Shah, you can offer the voters RM100 but you can never offer them a CHANGE.

Stupidity in Bolehland has just gotten to a level worse. After swearing, they may offer to walk 5000 miles to Mecca to prove their innocence or claim or whatever.

Question of the day: Will you be willing to go to hell in order to save your political career? We don't live forever. Think about it.


Monday, August 11, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: And now it's BN 5 PR 3

Boleh-Moan: I am not being negative but are we dreaming? Or rather am I dreaming? I have always harbored the hope of "Bangsa Malaysia" strongly but I just can''t see it happening to this hopeless bloody nation. Let's face it. Barbarians are among us. They incite hatred whenever they can for whatever the fuck reason that they can have. Are humans all born to be biased? WHY? I mean fucking WHY? I am Chinese. So what? Must you hate me because I am Chinese? I cant fucking change that. So FUCK YOU and FUCK YOUR THOUGHTS!

BN 1 PR 0
Ella is too sexy

PAS Youth demonstrated and BN is smiling.

BN 2 PR 0
Indonesian singer too sexy
As if one time is not enough, they did it again.

BN 3 PR 0
PAS Youth to protest over Avril Lavigne concert
At least they were consistent. Consistently crazy. If there's any claim that PAS will practice extremist policy and make our womans all wear tudung and cover their faces like batman, I will certainly believe it.

BN 3 PR 1 Anwar's sodomy case
This has bring abit of balance back to PR. If without DSAI, where will all these monkeys from PAS Youth be?

BN 4 PR 1 The long-standing disagreement between DAP and PAS.
Can they work together and not kill each other? I don't know man. PAS seems to enjoy ticking off DAP people and I just saw an UMNO and MCA kind of relationship over here.

BN 4 PR 2 Election campaign scandal four years ago
Maybe I am just so used to it. Used to BN screwing up and thus, it's becoming a norm. PR scored on this one.

BN 5 PR 3
A Nation with Lost Hope - The trashing of Bar Council
This is a draw. Violent fanatics from mostly opposition parties caused Bar Council meeting to cancel with chants of racial sentiments while BN practicing double standards as police are not stopping the demonstrators while urging the Bar Council to cancel the meeting.

If Pak Lah and his BN people did indeed planned the use of racial card to pull back some sort of support, he had succeeded. Finally he can afford a big smile. He succeeded with the help of PAS. What's more, he's getting an even bigger support from PKR debutant, the champion of race wannabe, Zulkifli Noordin. BN may lost popularity and credibility in the way they handle certain things which angered most of us. But I am slowly losing confident in PR because of PAS and Zulkifli Noordin. What's more, I have lost all my confidence in PAS and their ability to be a good ally to PKR and DAP.

Why must I fight against the tyrant only to be harboring false hope and fell into the trap of another tyrant? Unless DSAI get rid of PAS immediately, form PKR and DAP into one party or I may never regain the confident in PR. I don't mind my leader is Malay but I simply don't want extremist to be ruling. I still remember what PAS did to Terengganu the last time they rule over there. DONT RELATE RELIGION INTO ADMINISTRATION, you retard!

I am very confident DSAI will still win but what will happen next? He becomes Prime Minister with PAS's backing? What will PAS do next? Make all Malaysians regardless of race to wear Songkok and Tudung? Men and women queue up in different line? We have to change our name to Eddy Yulianto Abdullah? What else? If DSAI dont succumb to them, will they pull out and join BN and help BN regain back the Government? What's next in PAS Youth's agenda? Whatever it is, fuck them. UMNO Youth suffered badly because of their stupidity. Now, PAS Youth is joining them in the fast lane.

4 years is really a short time. All I can see is, 4 years from now, people will want to punish PAS badly so that they will finally be a thing of the past. As for me, I will have to spoil my fucking vote because this nation has no hope with UMNO Youth or PAS Youth. Hell, I don't even know if I will go and vote. I may just fucking watch Desperate Housewives and sip some lemon coke and don't give a flying fuck.

Now that's why I am so sick of politic. Uncle Nik, sack some people lah! Sack PAS Youth.


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Teachers are Gangsters?

I know all the hype has been about DSAI's election campaign in Permatang Pauh. I would like to wish him all the best. I don't really know who will step up to challenge him but I feel sorry for that person. He or she will just merely show up, get some publicity and then lose badly (really big time motherfucking badly). Poor thing. Haha.

Honestly, I am still a little sick of politic. So let's talk about something else. I read an interesting article in the Star today, entitled "Teachers should not act like hooligans".

I can't help but to think about all the past horrible memory that I had as a little kid trying to make my grades in school. I fully agree with the writer. Some of the teachers during my time in primary school are really like some motherfucking big time gangsters. Let me share a few of the most horrible things that I've been through or personally witnessed. I can honestly say, we were all under Nazi ruling in school during those days.

Horrible incident number 1:
I was in standard 5 when I witnessed this. Terribly shocked and terrified and still feel horribly sorry for my classmate. It was in this session when the teacher was talking about the things that we love. So he asked us what are the things that we loved most. Some girls answered clothes or handbags, some said TV, some even said toys but there was one innocent fella who suddenly try to crack a really stupid joke by saying that he loves shit. He was instantly punished.

The teacher ordered him to go to the toilet and carry some shit with his hand and come back to the class and show it to him. At first, everyone was laughing. It was really funny. But then we were wrong. He really mean it. He shouted at that poor fella. He told him to really get some shit back. Poor guy. He went to the toilet, managed to grab some shit and wrap it up in tissue and came back. The teacher was not satisfied.

He demanded that the shit is supposed to be in his hand not in the tissue. How fucking evil. I will never forget this fucking asshole. I hope this teacher will one day trip and fall and smash his own fucking face into some dog or cat shit and accidentally swallow them. Fucking dip shit. Just by merely thinking of his fuck-face now make me angry.

Anyway, that poor fella again came back with the shit in his hand. How disgusting. Still this fucking asshole teacher is not satisfied. He wants that poor classmate of mine to smell it. Put it close to his nose and say "I love shit". My classmate did exactly as what he was told. He was terrified. He did not know what else he can do. So are we. We were all shocked. This is how loving our teacher is during those days. This fuckface have the same moustache like Adolf Hitler.

Horrible incident number 2:

I was doing my homework when one fucking stupid looking teacher came in to our class. This fuckface also have moustache that look like Adolf Hitler. He was very angry because the class was noisy. So he started pulling some boys out and asked them to identify the rest who were noisy. Unfortunately, my fucking classmate pointed out a number of us who were busily doing our homework and was obviously innocent and I was included. While most of them shook their head and helplessly agree to meet their faith, I decided to stand for myself. I told the teacher that I was innocent. I was doing my home work. I showed him my notebook. It was rather unfortunate.

Instead of believing me, he yelled at me and kicked me really hard and pulled me out like I was a criminal facing death penalty. He didn't stop there. He kept kicking me until he was satisfied. Then we were all caned by him. What a loving school teacher. I hope that he will spend the rest of his life rocking behind bar in Sungai Buloh Prison because of trying to sodomize some dogs. He's a fucking asshole.

All my life, I thought of taking revenge against this ugly teacher. I was hoping to do a "count of monte cristo" kind of thing to him one day (Count is the guy who after many years of planning, destroyed his enemies one by one). I thought that if I make it big one day, I will search his whereabout and fuck him up nicely and get my revenge. Forgive me. I was a little naive. He's not worth my time. His children will be smoking ganjas now and smacking him everyday like a pussy I think. He probably had a sex-change lately and became a fully transformed transvestite with a vagina hole. So fuck him and fuck all the idiot school teachers. They are really not worth my time.

I tell you my friend, there are probably few hundreds more incidents to share and I can go on and on because as I said, we were under Nazi ruling in school for 11 fucking years. You guys are so lucky these days to have camera phones. If I had camera phone back then, all these bastards will be flying kites right now. Anyway, if you say some of our police force are heartless people, the same can be applied to the teachers.

If you are a teacher and you are reading this, then fucking tell yourself to be a good teacher or I fucking curse that your children will grow up to be society rubbish, take ganjas and fucking smack you everyday when they grow up.

Ok. Time to chill. Hehe. Sorry for being so angry.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Reformasi or Kompromasi?

Let’s review the positives and the negatives. For the benefit of those who don’t understand:

reformasi = reform

Kompromasi = compromise

The positives of Reformasi

  • the birth of Bangsa Malaysia
  • the emergence of 2-party system and the people have more than just a choice
  • the reborn of true democracy (and Tunku’s soul may come back to Malaysia and say “Well Done”. Rest in peace, Tunku. We love you.)
  • the emergence of Sabah and Sarawak as powerful states and immediate development (obvious political reason, right?)
  • the end of Mamak style dictatorship
  • the end of Musa Hassan and Gani Patail
  • the true justice will be carried out hopefully
  • the end of daylight robbery and the drop of petrol price (and Petronas may become Non-Profit Organization perhaps :) )
  • the end of obvious stupidity (Burma, Myanmar …. Study Geography lah, fucker)
  • the end of sodomy. :) . I mean the end of Rakyat being sodomized

The negatives of Reformasi

the economy may suffer for a while

the government may take some time to be stable

the UMNO youth people may want to show cast their talent in Silat for a while

the PAS youth may want to continue to suggest banning sexy school uniform for a little while more

the mamak dictator will be angry for a long long while and start posting lots of shits in his blog

the current DPM may not talk to Rosmah for a little while

Khairy may have depression for a long long while and may not think of Maya Karin for a while :) (just kidding, Maya. Stay cute.)

Hishamuddin may not be able to become Hang Tuah and kiss his keris for a long long while (at least not in front of national television)

The positives of Kompromasi

first of all, are there any?

Opss ya. Chinese will continue to have chances to find more dirty money. Malays will continue to have NEP. Indians …. Err… machas will continue drinking anchor beer and enjoy a little while

Mamak will get to continue his bullshit for a long long while

Someone’s children may be rich politician for a long long while

The silent type of peace will re-emerge and stay for a long long while

Some people may drive Mercedes for a long long while

School uniform can remain sexy for a little while

Ella can still perform for a long long while :)

The negatives of Kompromasi

rakyat will continue to get sodomized for a long long while

Sabahans and Sarawakians will be ignored for a long long while

Democracy will be dead for a really long while

We may have to listen to more rubbish for a long long while

DSAI will be heartbroken for a really long while and may never have a chance to rebuild Bolehland (they may put him away again)

RPK’s Malaysia-Today will close down for a long long while and RPK himself may be kept quiet by some people for a long long while

Patrick Teoh may disappear for a really long while

Kenny Sia may not be so funny in a while (at least not so funny in his political view)

And as for myself will have to close down this blog and never use the internet in a while before I get my ass hunt down and end up being sodomized in the jail for a while

And there will be no more jokes about Bolehland in a long long while, my friend.

What the fuck? Apa macam?

Kompromasi for now la. I wanna sleep. Let me know the “reformasi” plan and I will shout with you guys tomorrow. LOL. I really gotta sleep. I am getting lots of grey hair lately because of worrying for Bolehland. Tak boleh tahan. Slumber lah! Good night.


Friday, July 18, 2008

Hello Malay People. Please Buck Up!

First of all, I pray that RPK and DSAI will be alright. Let’s talk about something else other than politic.

I’ve just recently sacked a Malay staff. I can tell you that it is extremely heart-breaking. I am not a racist. I really believe in the spirit of “Muhibbah” and the concept of “Bangsa Malaysia” which is why I took him because I really want to give him a chance. I know he’s not highly talented but he’s a really simple person who at first showed a lot of promising sign and willingness to learn. I trained him patiently and worked with him for a few years. But it all went up to nothing. He is the second Malay I have sacked so far. I had to. I have no choice.

As time goes by, he’s taking more and more MCs. His performance dropped and he constantly got criticized by others while the complains about him are flying in every single month.

Still, I gave him chance after chance. Time after time, I tried to convince him that he gotta buck up or be left out. He took my kindness for granted and continued with his “lepak lah” attitude. In short, he was getting more and more lazy. His performance was crap. What’s more the management noticed.

I was heavily criticized for not sacking him. Still, I believe in giving people a chance. I had many sessions of heart to heart talk with him. It got worst. He’s faking MCs and he was caught by HR red-handed. No escape. HR gave me an option to sack or to give him a last warning letter. I chose sacking. I gave up hope on him. There’s nothing left in him that I can convince myself to see a change.

The next grueling moment is when I started to look for a replacement. As usual once the ad is out, the resumes kept flying in. You know what is so shocking my friend? I had 30 Malay people who applied for the job and majority are 1st class degree students. They are graduates from MARA, UKM, UTM, etc etc. Wonderful I thought.

So what is so shocking, you must be wondering. When I interviewed them, none can speak English. I mean it. None. Not even simple fucking English. I mean as simple as those Chow Kuey Teow taukeh can speak. How in the fucking hell these people can survive in Multi National Companies?

Nevermind. I test them in Malay. Goodness sake, not only they can’t speak English, they don’t have simple fucking I.Q. as well. I am really worried for Bolehland. I don’t mean to discredit these people but they gotta buck up. Although I did not hire them, I got them to know the importance of English and told them to take up lessons in English.

Come on man. Stop blaming the Chinese and Indians for your problems. Stop the fucking “Lepak Lah” attitude. Buck up! At least learn the necessary survival skill. Here is my hand if you need me. Allow me to guide you to the practical ways of life (take note of the word “Guide”, not control).

I don’t care if you are Malay, Chinese or Indians reading this post. Know this. We are Malaysian. We cannot survive without one another. Lend a hand to help a friend. If our Malay friends are weak in one thing or another, let’s help them. Let’s learn together and stop pointing fingers at each other because this is no gain for our already weaken nation. Let’s be a knowledge worker together. Let’s save our nation. Let’s be united as Bangsa Malaysia. Peace.


Monday, July 14, 2008

Taking a break

I dont know about you. I am sick of politic at the moment. The mere sight of it makes me wanna puke. Too much politic, too little changes. bAH!!!

Get to work people!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Anwar 3 Najib 0

Anwar 1 Najib 0

By openly admitting to having met with Saiful 3 days before the alleged “sodomised victim” lodges a police report, Najib actually gave himself a big slap on the face. The people are now laughing real hard. It is stupidity beyond limit. He should have carefully consider the consequences before releasing a statement like that. I mean, it makes him look stupid, really really stupid. Why on earth would a Deputy Prime Minister spend his time to meet a commoner? Who is Saiful? Why is he so special that DPM have to devote his time for him? Is he now acting as a specialist or counselor to common people by giving consultation? If I have personal problem, can I see visit Najib too? What a caring DPM we have over here. The reborn of Superhero. When can we arrange for our appointment? I have lots of problems too that I want Najib to help me. :). And that darling is Anwar 1, Najib 0.

Anwar 2 Najib 0

P Balasubramaniam’s statutory declaration made so much damaging claims about Najib. Of course our DPM is in his usual denial state. It does not matter whether the statutory declaration has any substance or truth in it. This is the second statutory declaration after Raja Petra submitted the first one. Najib’s popularity in the public is falling down like the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange each day. The more he deny, the more it gain publicity. The harder he tries, the deeper he falls as most people believe he’s lying. So that’s Anwar 2, Najib 0.

Anwar 3 Najib 0

And the drama got worse when P Balasubramaniam retracted his earlier statutory declaration and substituted it with an amended statutory declaration. Whether he did it on purpose or not, the people will not think that much. Majority will jump to the conclusion that the poor Bala guy was being threaten to do so or else he will be in deep shit. In truth, Anwar has so much to gain from this situation. As for Najib, yet again, the harder he tries, the deeper he sinks. And that is Anwar 3, Najib 0.

You gotta praise Anwar’s political tactic (if indeed everything was pre-planned, it was really brilliant). He was able to score a hattrick over Najib in such a short space of time and instantly causing what I believed to be unrepairable damages to Najib. As for Najib, he has a lot of political classes to attend after this. Poor him. Being DPM is not as easy as it used to be. Under Mahathir, all you have to do is to be a stupid “Yes” man and that will do.

In fact, being a politician nowadays is no longer that easy. Gone are the days when Zainuddin Maidin can yell with his broken English claiming Bolehland is not Myanmar or Burma (same country actually. Burma changed their name to Myanmar) and remain as Information Minister. This country no longer have place for stupid ministers. Politicians nowadays have to be really witty which is why some of our sleeping ministers are suffering because they have been the “Lepak lah” type for decades. When reality strikes them really hard, they just don’t know how to deal with it.


Sunday, June 29, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: What would you do if you were Pak Lah or Anwar?

We know the latest development being the accusation against Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim for sodomy. Same trick that was used by a dictator famous for his "Apanama" trademark. While on the other hand, Ong Ka Ting will not be contesting for MCA presidential post

Let's play politic bitch. So what would you do if you were Pak Lah?

Lim: The most common attack in politic that I've seen is to dig out the opponent's weakness and give more publicity to it and keep focusing on it. This is what Pakatan Rakyat has been doing and most people claimed that the clever Azmin Ali was the mastermind behind it. So same trick, same effect. Pakatan Rakyat is still not strong as a unit. There were voices of discontentment between PAS and DAP. As there were rumours about PAS wanting to join BN, Pak Lah could use this avenue to unsettle Pakatan Rakyat further. Make claims like Anwar and state that there are a number of PAS MPs wanting to crossover to UMNO or other parties. Claim that negotiation is underway and when the right time is here, announcement will be made public. Restore the mind of the people by publishing more on what the PAS government did in Terengganu with implementation of separating men and women in queuing up in supermarkets, ban on entertainment outlet, etc. Attack on extremist policy of PAS and give more publicity to it while claiming strongly more and more PAS members wanted to leave because of disbelieving in the extremist policy of PAS.

Unknown 007: Good thing that Ong Ka Ting is out but still need to get rid of rubbish politicians like Samy Vellu and Khir Toyo that is bringing bad publicity to BN. As Pak Lah cant remove them just like that, hire a trustable sniper like Ezam Md. Noor to dig out dirt in Samy and Khir and then act like savior in offering them to leave peacefully. Next, release Hindraf 5 and make a statement stating that the police has been given ample time to investigate further and failed to sustain strong enough evidence to detain them further. Make a public apology to the family of Hindraf 5 for all the sufferings, invite Waythamoorthy back and state that you look forward to working with them (Hindraf group) for the better sake of the Indian community. This will gain massive favor to Pak Lah.

Grace: Like it or not, bloggers play a powerful influence in the country now. Attend blogger's functions by surprise and earn their respect. Let them know their view is being taken seriously and you look forward to their constructive criticism and learn to work together with them to bring Malaysia forward.

Arif: Give more publicity into the wrongs of Tun Mahathir. Other than judiciary crisis, restore the people's mind about Operasi Lalang in 1987 and his dictatorship. Focus on Ku Li's power crazy stance since 1980's. In short dig more history out and give more bad publicity to the people who are against you. Ignore all the negative attacks in order not to embrace more publicity into it. Make humble and soft denials and then walk away (Same tactic used by most celebrity). Don't give focus on it at all.

G-Shock: If I'm the PM, I wouldn't have hike up the petrol price first. I would announce the subsidy claim of RM625 first to the public to let them collect the money and be happy and then only announce the fuel-hike. Prior to announcing the fuel-hike, I would have a full explanation and report done up to let the people know about petrol-stealing issues. I will give full publicity to the petrol-stealing issues and how much we are losing. I would also take out the road tax to gain popularity before announcing the fuel-hike. This would not unsettle so many people as it is now.

What would you do if you were Anwar?

KLH: What Anwar shouldn't do is to give more publicity into accusations like the latest alleged sodomy case. More denials, more bad publicities. Like what the genius said "If you wrestle with the pig, the pig will have a good time and you will end up messing yourself further". Remain calm, prepare evidences (in case if it's needed) and let the police investigate further. Announce to the public calmly that he will remain focus into working on the crossovers of MPs and ignore the fabricated claim. Turn the attention away and put more focus into Altantuya's murder and encourage the police to investigate properly into RPK's claim as murder case is more serious.

Jefri: UMNO is not as stable as before. In fact, they are not as united as before. Therefore, dig out issues to unsettle the harmony between Najib and Pak Lah. Create more fightings in UMNO. Restore the people's mind about Najib's rally in Kampung Baru 1987 with the statement of "soaking the keris with Chinese blood" and tell the people not accept the extremist as the next Prime Minister.

Haris: There were claims that many ordinary MCA members have quit and joined Pakatan component parties. Give more publicity to it. Give more publicity to Lim Boo Chang and gang who recently join Pakatan. Continue to unsettle BN with more claims.

Bakti: Work on PAS and DAP relationship to ensure further united stance. Give more attention and publicity into Nizar and Ngeh's good working relationship. Attack more on poor working relationship between MCA, Gerakan, MIC and UMNO.

What is your opinion?

The Bolehland Breaking News: Anwar to file report against IGP, AG

(Malaysiakini) A police report is expected to be lodged against the police chief Musa Hassan and attorney-general A Gani Patail this morning over their alleged misconduct during Anwar Ibrahim's trials in 1998-1999.

Lawyers acting for the PKR de facto leader are expected to lodge the report.

Yesterday Anwar had said that he had evidence implicating Inspector-General of Police Musa and AG Abdul Gani Patail in the misconduct, including fabrication of evidence in the cases launched against him after his sacking from government in 1998.

He added that a fresh police report lodged against him for sodomy was a result of "interested parties to attack me in retaliation" over this evidence in his possession.

The report alleging sodomy was filed by Anwar's aide, 23-year-old Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan, yesterday.

Anwar claimed that the accusation against him was a "complete fabrication". PKR also said that Saiful was arrested and forced by the police to lodge such a report against Anwar.

Wan Azizah: Aide was volunteer staff

This morning party president Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail said that Saiful was a volunteer who joined to help the party during the general election period three months ago.

She added that little was known of him and that no background check was done on him as he was just a volunteer. He later become a special assistant to Anwar.

Saiful is a former student leader at the Universiti Tenaga Nasional.

Wan Azizah also added that Anwar "was taking it well" with the latest happening.

Anwar's lawyers are expected to hold a press conference at about 12 noon today, to be followed by one held by Anwar himself.

The police have denied that Saiful was arrested and forced to fabricate evidence as claimed by PKR.

Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has also denied that the government was behind the new allegation against Anwar and he would let the police investigate the matter and take the necessary action.

Meanwhile, Anwar's supporters have started gathering at the Quality Hotel in Shah Alam in anticipation of police action against the politician.

Many were there overnight to monitor the situation and protect Anwar, who is staying at a hotel to attend a two-day PKR workshop with all its elected representatives.

This morning, there were two police patrol vehicles outside the hotel.

The BolehJokes Opinion:

Saiful Bukhari Azlan (left in blue shirt) used to work for Deputy Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak.

Even if you were to hire someone to bring Anwar down, hire someone else lah and be smarter. Another stupidity busted.

The Bolehland Breaking News: Malaysia's opposition leader Anwar accused of sodomy amid political tension; he denies charge

Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim was accused Saturday of sodomizing a man, police said, sparking speculation that he might be arrested on the same charge that led to his imprisonment a decade ago.

Anwar, who resurrected his political career after leading the opposition to spectacular gains in the March 8 elections, denied the allegation, calling it a ''complete fabrication.''

''This is clearly a desperate attempt by the ... regime to arrest the movement of the Malaysian people towards freedom, democracy and justice,'' the 60-year-old former deputy prime minister said.

Anwar claimed the report was engineered by ''interested parties'' to prevent him from exposing the national police chief and the attorney general for their alleged role in having him accused of corruption and sodomy in 1998.

Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi insisted the government was not responsible for the accusation, saying there was no conspiracy ''to cause (Anwar) trouble or harass him or raise such issues to undermine him.''

Abdullah declined to say whether Anwar would be arrested. Asked about Anwar's denial, Abdullah said it ''was common for an accused person'' to claim he was innocent.

The BolehJokes Opinion:
Abdullah said it ''was common for an accused person'' to claim he was innocent. Are you indicating to Najib as well? Why do you jump straight to conclusion with RPK's claim?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Bolehland Daily: Pak Lah and Dr. Mahathir both defended Najib and wife

They may have a lot of differences lately, but they found a common ground on this one.

Pak Lah and Dr. Mahathir both defended Najib and wife in Altantuya murder. Abdullah said that action would be taken against the blogger who made the allegations against Najib and his wife Rosmah Mansor, and who has already been charged with sedition over the issue.

"I don't believe that Najib and Rosmah are involved," the premier told reporters.

While Dr M went further by stating that Raja Petra accusation a political ploy.

"They (Lim Kit Siang and Raja Petra Kamarudin) are not really interested in crime or achieving justice. They have a political agenda.

"As far as they are concerned, this is the time to run somebody in government down. So, they just seize the opportunity.

How stupid. Come on. Will the murderer openly confess “Oh yeah, my homie. I fucking slain somebody”? Will those people who are involved tell you that they are involved? I mean, how do you know they are not involved? Which part of their fucking face will tell you? You are not fit enough to comment whether they are or they are not involved. This is some serious shit as this is a murder case. It should not be based on your fucking believe. If all the murder cases in fucking Bolehland are based on PM’s or some senile retired dictator’s believe, then why do we fucking need CID and court? Let the fucking police investigate and don’t act like some fucking expert in CSI. This ain’t no drama.

By defending Najib, they have actually made the situation worst. Now I am feeling rather suspicious of the whole affair. What’s more, they are embracing more popularity into the case. Based on popular view, Pak Lah is someone that goes against his own words.

(based on Patrick Teoh’s Niamah Blog)
No. I am not getting married. Boom! He gets married.
No. I will not dissolve Parliament. Boom! He dissolves Parliament the very next day.
No. There will be no fuel price increase (the first time last week). Boom! RM2.70 per litre the next day.

I don't believe that Najib and Rosmah are involved. Boom …. I can’t say further or I will end up in the same prison cell as the transvestite (RPK’s neighbor in Kajang Prison) and I will then be properly sodomized by sheim (sheim = combination of she and him). HELL… NO!. :)

Who are the consultants for Pak Lah and Dr. M? They deserved to be sacked. As for Najib, he will be feeling aggrieved and will probably be saying “Thanks guys, but no thanks.”

For your stupidity!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: The professional code of conduct for oil-hike protest

Let’s face it. Like it or not, any demonstrations in Malaysia will not be approved by the police. Without permit, it will be deemed as illegal assembly. The reason for banning is always the typical excuse, which is the national security at stake. So let’s think of some ways to make it professional and leave them no room for banning. This is just my suggestion. (If you don’t think it is viable, let’s agree to disagree.)

I think the event organizer should come out with the professional code of conduct to organize such event and propose it to the authority to let them know that it is just a peaceful protest. I know the BERSIH organizers have previously done it but it is not strong enough. It must be more professional in my opinion.

They must brief participants on the dress code and behavior conduct. No hate banners or shirt with abusive words. I mean, let’s be really professional. We are there to protest, not to cause chaos to our nation. We are discontented, not disoriented. For example, if you are not happy with your job, you should talk to your boss but you don’t throw tantrums around in his or her office because it will get you nowhere.

So brief all participants not to carry banners like “Pak Lah resign” or “Kerajaan zalim”. Instead, replace it with more friendly words like “RM3000 also not enough to sustain a normal life” or “We want solutions to our problems” or perhaps “Dear Pak Lah, subsidy is not enough. How about no road tax and no import duty on cars”. If possible, get only a few selected people to carry the banners and tell the rest not to carry anything during the protest. Reassure the authority that the few selected people carrying the banners will not cause chaos and register their names.

Tell all the opposition MPs to stay away. In fact, tell all politicians to stay away. Do not let this protest be politically motivated. Let them know that it is just for the people to voice their discontentment and that it is time for the Government to listen. Under no circumstances should anyone provoke the authority and incite hatred among the people with wild chanting.

Hire policemen to safeguard the event. Collect small fund from participants to pay them as an extra effort to monitor the event like a function. Let them know the schedule of the protest and suggest the best place to do it in order not to disrupt the traffic. In this, we are cooperating with the authority with regards to national security.

And if they still ban it, then they cannot deny anymore that Malaysia is indeed a “Police State”. In defeat, we can still achieve 2 things. First, we make them look stupid, if they cannot come out with a sound excuse for banning. Second, we discredit them further and put their professionalism into further question.

I still hope that the event will be successful and that the Government will listen once and for all.


The BolehJokes Opinion: Regarding my last post

Fuck off people! What the fuck is the matter? Read properly before you fucking comment or send me abusive emails. I am trying to encourage more older people to believe in change and not to fucking insult them. I will become old one day as well. Fucking read and dont jump to the conclusion.
Some fuckers even told me to study the stats properly before writing. This is a fucking opinion and not a fucking expert analysis. You can't even understand simple fucking English. Improve your level of understanding or may I say your intelligence before commenting.
Peace motherfucker!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: “I want peace. I don’t want any trouble.”

That’s the reaction from most of the older people starting from age 50 and above (Not all, but most). Don’t get me wrong. I do not have any discrimination against older people but I am very frustrated with the attitude of most of them.

Ask them what do they think of the street protest of oil hike, they will immediately reply “Trouble. Avoid at all costs. These people are causing trouble. They have no brain. Economy will fall. Sigh”

Ask them what do they think if Pakatan Rakyat takeover in Sept 16 and their immediate reply was “Trouble. Stock up some food. Umno people will take to the street and cause chaos. This country will be in chaos”

Ask them what if Pakatan Rakyat took over and that there’s no trouble and their reply was “It will be the same. Same crocs, different party. Whoever got to the top will forget us and be like BN. So what’s the difference? I rather have peace.”

Because of not wanting any trouble, they sacrifice true democracy. Because of not wanting any trouble, they rather let corruption, injustice and open abuse to carry on. Because of not wanting any trouble, they rather be slaves to dirty scumbags. Because of not wanting any trouble, they rather let the country be in ruins just so that they can live on comfortably.

Most of the older people are cowards, especially Chinese (This is just my opinion). I am saying this as a Chinese and my mum and her friends are exactly like that. They are more than likely to stick to the same, be slaves to BN and will be very reluctant to change. As long as their lives are not under threat, they won’t want to do something. Only when something happen to them or their families, they will cry out for fair justice. What is the use by then? You let yourself be in ruins and only to realize later and want to do something when it is too late?

This is exactly the plan of our very own “dictator”, Tun Mahathir. To install fear into every Malaysian so that they will obey the lords. The lords as in the Mahathir’s cronies. That was Plan A. Plan B, to give more illegal immigrants bumi status to keep them voting for BN. As long as BN gets the majority, UMNO will run our lives and they will happily do so.

Obviously the younger generations are very different and they are disgruntled. They disagree with the old thinking. This is why the tsunami came. We no longer accept the kind of rubbish that’s been around for too long (Sad to say that some BN goons still don’t get it. They are still living in the 70’s). We are no longer living in an era whereby information moves slowly. We are more knowledgeable because of internet. We quickly learned about “Makkal Sakthi”. We quickly learned about the loopholes in our country and we want improvement. Can you imagine if there’s no internet, no CNN, no CNBC and all the things you read in the newspapers are just mere lies, what would have happen? You and I will still be happily chanting “Hidup Barisan”.

What the older people don’t understand is, I want a balance. No, I don’t want any trouble either. I want free and fair Governance that will look upon me as Malaysian. No, I don’t want Pakatan Rakyat to takeover and become the next arrogant party like BN. Ignoring people’s cry and ruling arrogantly is the last thing I ever want. If we keep fearing, we will never get what we want.

Should Pakatan Rakyat takeover, it will signal a change. A change that’s very important in our history and I want to give them a chance. I believe most of the young people like me are more than likely to give them a chance as well. They know full well they have to serve the people to prove themselves or they will go bust. This is what I want.

This will then force BN to reinvent themselves to be relevant. After reinventing themselves and their agenda is better than PR in the future, they may win back my vote. Either way, I want 2 strong parties to be relevant in this country. I want the people to get the chance to decide who is the better Government. Should trouble come, we must be even more united to overcome it instead of avoiding it.

So older people, stand up with us. I know you are at your retiring age but look further. Your younger generations will get to enjoy free and fair governance in the future. Let’s look forward to a better Malaysia and if God willing, starting from September 16, 2008.


Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Bolehland Breaking News: Raja Petra - The Malaysian Version of Braveheart

It's shocking and I'm totally gobsmacked by Raja Petra's bravery. May God protect Yang Mulia RPK now. I am worried for him.

Raja Petra: 'Rosmah at murder scene'
In his latest bombshell, Raja Petra accused Rosmah as among three individuals who were present when Altantuya was murdered on Oct 19, 2006.

"I have been reliably informed that between about 10pm on October 19, 2006 and early hours of the following day, the night Altantuya Shaariibuu was murdered, three other people were also present at the scene of crime," he said, according to his two-page statutory declaration.

He named the two other individuals as one acting colonel Aziz Buyong, who is described as ‘a C4 expert’ and the latter’s wife, known only as Norhayati, who is also said to be Rosmah’s aide de camp.

"My informer states that Aziz was the person who placed the C4 on various parts of Altantuya’s body witnessed by Rosmah and Norhayati," Raja Petra claimed in the document.

"I make this statutory declaration because I have been reliably informed about the involvement of these three people who have thus far not been implicated in the murder nor called as witnesses by the prosecution in the ongoing trial at the Shah Alam High Court.

He further alleged that he has also been ‘reliably informed’ that Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi knows of Najib's (right) wife alleged involvement.

"[...] Abdullah has received a written report from military intelligence confirming what I have revealed and this report was subsequently handed over to his son-in-law Khairy Jamaluddin for safekeeping," he said.

Read more

We ain't supporting but we ain't leaving. Blow me, motherfucker? :)

A smart political move by SAPP or what?
Datuk Yong Teck Lee said that while his party has not decided to leave the coalition, the BN supreme council, which met yesterday in Kuala Lumpur, had more or less kicked the party out from the coalition.

"We are prepared for any consequences (arising from our actions)," he told a packed media conference at Sapp headquarters.

The party supreme council endorses its president's call for a vote of no confidence against Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

The BolehJokes humors:

Which two, DSAI? SAPP's flamboyant MPs? Cool.

Anwar: 2 are in the bag, more to come

Anwar Ibrahim tonight invited Barisan Nasional members of parliament to defect to his Pakatan Rakyat to "save Malaysia".

He also sent the crowd into frenzy by stating that he had already enticed two MPs from BN into Pakatan.

"Two have joined us," he said. While he did not reveal the identities of the two MPs, it is widely believed that he was referring to the two Sabah Progressive Party (Sapp) MPs.

The BolehJokes humor:

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Bolehland Breaking News: Sapp MPs to move no-confidence vote

(malaysiakini) Sabah Progressive Party (Sapp) today announced that it would move a no-confidence motion against Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi when Parliament resumes on Monday. It is the first time in the history of the nation that a vote of no-confidence is to be moved against a prime minister.

"In the coming sitting of the Parliament session starting Monday, June 23, our MPs will support a vote of no confidence on the PM.

"Whether the motion will be tabled by our party MP or another MP will be decided in due course," said a press statement released today.

Chua (right), who was present a party's 40-minute press conference in Kota Kinabalu, gave four reasons for backing the no-confidence vote. They are:

  • No concrete actions have been taken on the issue of illegal immigrants in Sabah. "Our sovereignty is threatened," said Chua.
  • Sabah, being the poorest state, is greatly burdened by the sharp hike in petrol prices. The government has failed to provide "holistic economic solutions".
  • Sapp MPs would fail in their role as elected representatives as issues raised such as poor delivery systems, corruption, wastage of resources, lack of transparency and no sense of accountability are ignored.
  • People have lost confidence in the leadership of Abdullah. Sapp is of the opinion that if the top leadership can't perform, then Abdullah should make way for other able leader to take over.

Party president Yong Teck Lee said Sapp would not immediately quit the coalition led by Abdullah, but that its status would be reviewed at the end of the week.
He attacked BN's record in the impoverished state, saying that it had been subjected to unfair laws and excessive taxes.

"That is why we need an immediate declaration of no confidence in the PM and the government, to tell the BN government that we can no longer tolerate their insensitive attitude towards the Sabah issues that are real and serious," he said in the press conference held at the party headquarters at 2pm.

The Bolehland Daily: BN exodus to begin tomorrow?

(Malaysiakini) Speculations are rife that a Barisan Nasional component party will be making an important announcement tomorrow that would leave Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's government hanging in a balance.

Sources told Malaysiakini tonight that the announcement by the Sabah Progressive Party (Sapp) tomorrow will "lead to a drastic change of the political scenario in Malaysia".

However the sources refused to reveal if the party would leave the 14-member BN coalition and join Anwar Ibrahim-led Pakatan Rakyat.A party official confirmed that Sapp leadership will be making an important announcement tomorrow at a press conference to be held in Kota Kinabalu.

"You'll find out about it at the news conference," he said when pressed for more details. He also stressed that the party's decision was made with the "state's and people's interest" in mind. And all that he was willing to divulge was that his party was not the only one who would be making the "shocking move".

The BolehJokes humors and thoughts:
Najis: We deny this. We've spoken to everyone. Everyone "seems to be committed" :)
MCA (Saliva picking gang): We also deny. :)
Bootlicking boy Ong La Chuan: I am in further denial :)

After more than 50 years, a change is imminent. Should a change come, we are taking a big step towards a 2-party system. Dont get BolehJokes wrong. Although we are very critical of the Government at the present moment, we strongly believe in 2-party system. No one side should be too strong for the other. A balance will ensure both side work hard for the nation. BN must remain relevant but must revamp into a single entity, change their style of management or drop all the old guns and bring in the young bloods and more importantly work hard for the interest of the people. God bless Bolehland.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Bolehland Breaking News: Anwar: MCA MPs will defect to Pakatan

(malaysiakini) PKR de facto leader Anwar Ibrahim has dropped the clearest hint yet of impending crossovers to Pakatan Rakyat. “I can safely say that several MCA MPs will join us soon,” he told journalists yesterday, after opening a service centre in Bayan Baru, Penang.

However, as with previous assertions of the same variety, that was all he was prepared to reveal. Anwar has been keeping the public on tenterhooks since the general election on March 8, with repeated claims of crossovers by Barisan Nasional (BN) parliamentarians, especially those in Sabah.

He said that discreet meetings have been held in Hong Kong, Manila and Singapore, to avoid scrutiny, and that “even a cabinet minister met me”.

At a rally held last night in City Stadium, George Town, the former deputy premier worked up the crowd with similar promises.

“It’s about time that we take over. It’s only a matter of time for us to take over. We are so close to Putrajaya,” he said to roars from some 30,000 people.

“It’s very soon. I will not say how (soon). But it will happen soon.”

He stressed that defecting MPs would have to accept the Pakatan tenets of good governance.
Anwar used the rally to obtain a ‘referendum’ on replacing the federal BN government and taking over as premier from Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

He and other Pakatan speakers exploited the escalating cost of living triggered by the fuel price hike, to bombard the BN government and raise the tempo of a disenchanted crowd.

“I can guarantee you all today that if Pakatan Rakyat were to form the federal government today, we will bring down the oil price tomorrow,” said Anwar.

YEAH!!!!!!!! Way to go DSAI but hurry up!

Friday, June 13, 2008

The Bolehland Daily: Ministers are ‘already underpaid'

(malaysiakini) Earlier during his one-hour speech, Najib had quoted free-market economist Adam Smith to argue that Malaysia's fuel subsidies had been inefficient. He cited the example of local fishermen who got diesel at RM1 per litre as it was heavily subsidised by the government.The levels of fish caught have stagnated while the use of diesel went up, lamented Najib.

He said the government's move to slash fuel subsidies was "the only sensible macro policy"."In terms of the nation, we don't want to use oil wastefully," said Najib, who described last week's sharp fuel hike of around 40 percent as "politically painful" and "difficult".

Najib also explained that it was "important to educate the Malaysian public that the day of reckoning will come" as the country will become a net importer of oil in four years.

Later, during the question-and-answer session, he was asked to justify the much-criticised slashing of ministers' entertainment allowances by only 10 percent, and the curbing of their all-expenses paid holidays to countries in the Asean region.

Najib defended the move, saying that cabinet ministers were "already underpaid in Malaysia" relative to the private sector."Don't begrudge us for what we have," he pleaded.

Najib also defended the Internal Security Act, which allowed detention without trial, citing the legislation as a key weapon in the country's defence against global and regional terrorism. However, in his speech he did not specifically name ISA, which he referred to as a "pre-emptive legislation" introduced by the British during the war against the communists."The caveat is that we don't abuse it."

The BolehJokes thought:

Oh My God! He's driving me crazy. Can someone just fucking slap him?

I'm not just angry. I am super-duper big time fucking angry. Ministers underpaid? When Zakaria Mat Deros was alive, he can afford to build a mansion and he's not even an important minister. And you got the fucking guts to say the word underpay.

Fuck OFF!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The BolehJokes Opinion: Motivated by money, power and popularity?

What's the first thing that came to your mind as to why a person wants to be a minister of this fucked-up country called Bolehland? Let's be fucking honest with ourselves. It's either money, power or popularity or all 3 together.

Seriously, I dont bloody mind if they are motivated by money, power or popularity. Why would any Tom, Dick and Harry wants to work so hard to become minister if they ain't getting anything in the end?

But that doesn't mean they can rob openly from the people. Bolehland is already fucking poor. Dont let the people suffer more. Here are the list of suggestions on how our Ministers can make more money:

Endorse a product:

The Pak Lah HairGel by Badawi

Mahathir's Fried Mamak Mee - famous in KL and PJ and some say JB

Mahathir's stay young secret with So So Young

Speak at a conference:

Malaysia's women forum - Keynote speaker: Rafidah Aziz

4th Annual Effective 4th Floor Management - Extended presentation by Khairy J.

Set up a training school

Hishamuddin's School of Genius

KJ's English School (The Oxford Genius)

Publish Books

The Chua Soi Lek Sex Scandal - My side of the story by Chua S.L

From Hero to Zero: The insightful thought of a loser - by Semi Value

Be a columnist in Magazine

101 ways on how to be an effective politician by Mahathir Mohd

How I manage my daily hairstyles by Syed Hamid

Part-time guest appearances in movies and tv shows

Macam-macam Aznil - Guest appearance by Khir Toyo

Sembilu VI - with guest appearance by Mike Tyson (Mohd Taib)

Gadis Impian - featuring guest appearance by Azalina Othman

Set up blogs and invite advertisements

Since no corruption is needed for these morons to be rich, thus they will be more popular with the people. With the massive attention given to them by the paparazzi, they are naturally more powerful. It's a win-win situation. Think about it. Hehe.

Well, I guess not. Fuck off!

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