When the joker lost his jokes

Dear friends / readers / countrymen,I'm going through some turmoils in my life lately. I have no mood or whatsoever to write or comment about our current political situation at this moment. I saw the Yoga controversy, I just threw the newspaper away. This country is just so full of stupid politicians who are beyond help and at this moment, not worth my time debating about it.Lately, I struggle with my career and personal life and sort of lost my way. I lost confidence in myself, I lost my love one, I lost a friend who died all of sudden, I lost my way in my work, I lost it all. I just couldn't figure out a way to get out of the situation.I hate the way I look, I hate my weight, I hate my height, I hate my job, I hate the way my country is being run at the moment and to sum it all, I hate my...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: Najib, the economy saviour?

Ok. I'm not a big fan of Najib but I think what he's done recently is brilliant. Most people like to jump to conclusion about many things but if you fucking use your brain for a moment and think properly, what Najib or his advisor has done is actually holding the economy.Here are the reasons (This is only my opinion. You can agree to disagree.)By raising the petrol price, the Government will earn alot of money and have alot in the reserve fund. The prices of other things will go up. Now the Government is reducing the petrol price to RM2.00, not too far away from RM1.92. The prices of other things dont drop, which means the businesses will have more profits as the cost is lesser. Same demand, more profits. Of course the people suffer alittle...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: Back after a long break but still sick of Bolehland

You know, 50 years of Independence has not taught us any shit! We are still the same bunch of fucking clowns wondering about how our nation should progress and have no fucking clue. We are still busy squabbling, arguing childish facts, politicking matters like road sign language or mini fucking skirts and many more stupidity which skips my mind at the moment.I am really fucking sick of this country. Plus, I have lost my patience in PAS. I seriously don't think this bunch of extremist are going to be the people that can uplift the nation to another stage. Why do they keep politicizing religion? This is not Islamic, we are doing this the Islamic way or according to Islam? Why must relate religion into your fucking administration? For the last...

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Taking a Boleh Break

Dear All,Sick of the latest development in Bolehland so I'm not gonna give a flying fuck about politic for a little while.In Distraught!...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: Choosing a Prime Minister

Bolehjokes shorties: I am perturbed by the recent crackdown on bloggers. It's really sad when freedom of expression is at an uncompromising situation lately. Maybe the authority just got sick of us bloggers. Maybe because we are just too honest. Whatever the hell it is, I will keep blogging. Blow me? :). Anyway, free RPK and leave other bloggers alone.Choosing a Prime MinisterIn the United States, they are the people's choice.In Bolehland, it is their choice.Something just provoked my mind lately. While the people of United States of America get to decide who to be the next President, we don't have a say in deciding the Prime Minister of Bolehland. How weird. Of course the genius of mind-twister like Mahathir will claim that it is Bolehland's...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: OH MY GOD!!!!!!

In perhaps one of the most suicidal statement of all time, ex-deputy president of SAPP and the current Deputy Chief Minister of Sabah Raymond Tan claimed on Saturday that he had been instrumental in preventing the arrest of party president Yong Teck Lee in June in relation to allegations of corruption. He said he had pleaded with Abdullah not to arrest Yong as it would be a bad move.“This is an admission by a BN deputy chief minister that the prime minister can interfere with ACA work,” said Chong Pit Fah, SAPP newly-appointed information chief.That's why the title is "OH MY GOD!". Tell me. How can he be so stupid? I am shellshocked! He just busted the PM's bubble and instead of helping himself, he got the PM into the act. Now they will both...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: Will he, will he not? Is he deceiving us?

He's lying. It's a big political lie. I'm in charge. I'm still in charge!We said we will deny them 2/3 majority. We did it. We said we will take Selangor, Perak and Penang. We did it. We said we will win big in Permatang Pauh. We did it. And now we said we got the numbers and they again denied it. When will they ever learn?For the past few days, I've been thinking. I've been thinking about what can Anwar gain by lying about the numbers. What will he gain for bluffing? I couldn't think of an answer. Unless he's an extremely sad attention seeker. But hey, does he need that? Come on. If he's being exposed for his lies, he will lose credibility and the confidence of the people. Too much of a risk, isnt it? He's rapidly gaining popularity by the...

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The Bolehland Breaking News: A New Malaysia?

(Malaysiakini) Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim told his supporters to have faith as a new government was in sight."Tonight on the eve of Malaysia day, we are ready to form the government tomorrow," he said to loud cheers from the crowd.He said that he had the required number of members of parliament to form the government.He said that Pakatan Rakyat has submitted a letter to Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi today, seeking a meeting with him for a smooth transition."Tomorrow is the day we are ready to form the government. But the best time, I tell you, is when we meet the prime minister."A peaceful transition is paramount," he added. He was talking to more than 25,000 people who had gathered at the Kelana Jaya stadium to celebrate Pakatan...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: A bloody fool's mind that caused the use of ISA

Call him stupid. Call him crazy. But he has the ability to give the Government to use the old excuses to arrest a few people. What's more, he's safe. He was just suspended for 3 years for whatever stupid things that he had done. What kind of justification is that, you tell me. Will there be more? Is this going to be Ops Lalang 2, the Chedet's old trick?As we are advancing Sept 16, some people are really getting desperate. They believed the best way to destroy the plan is through intimidation and the most effective way is to use the ISA. Afterall, didnt our lovely Prime Minister vowed to destroy the plan? Not many Malaysians can take torture. Hell, not many human beings can stand torture. So I can understand their grievances.I am sure the MPs...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: The racist politicians and the future of Bolehland

Guys and girls, I am just so angry that it is beyond words. I guess you know why. First, that moron Ahmad Ismail will not be apologizing after all and thinks that all the people who told him to apologize publicly should apologize to him instead for defaming him. What in the fuck is wrong with this motherfucker? He insulted the Chinese so badly and yet he is demanding for apology? I have accepted that asshole like his kind will never change. Nevermind.I am more angry with Pak Lah and Najib because they are supposed to reprimand this asshole in the first place. What kind of PM and DPM we have over here in this country? They are fucking more caring for Saiful than us the Chinese? Their fucking political career is hanging by a thread and yet they...

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The Bolehland Breaking News: Official: Anwar won with bigger majority

It's official! Congratulation, DSAI. Remember to work hard for the Rakyat.9.50pm: Final official EC tally - Anwar got 31,195 votes, Arif Shah, 15,524, Hanafi, 92. Anwar won with a majority of 15,671.Now, I know some of you are skeptical and cautiously optimistic about his victory. My advise is, give him a chance. If you can give BN 50 years by not coming out to vote, why not take this chance?Well done, Permatang Pauh!9.25pm: Official EC results: With final five ballot boxes to go, Anwar has bagged 29,526 votes, Arif Shah (14,444) and Hanafi (89). Majority so far: 15,082.9.12pm: Official EC result: With 11 more boxes to go, Anwar has won the by-election with a 14,551 majority. He garnered 27,977 votes while BN's Arif Shah obtained 13,426 while...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: The Bolehland's latest trend - Swearing on Quran

Desperate moment calls for desperate measure?First off, we got the university dropped-out, attention seeking 23-year old Saiful Bukhari who purportedly swear on the Quran and then it was our lovely Deputy Prime Minister's turn, the part-time caretaker for Saiful Bukhari, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and then followed by the mafia looking Datuk Seri Tajol Rosli. What the fuck is this? The latest fucking trend in Bolehland? How desperate is that? You mean the court is not good enough to prove your innocence or your claim? Why you need to resort to holy swearing?So that means all those fucking criminals rocked behind the bar waiting for their time to attend hearings in court can just fucking swear and get off? What do you think? Will those criminals...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: And now it's BN 5 PR 3

Boleh-Moan: I am not being negative but are we dreaming? Or rather am I dreaming? I have always harbored the hope of "Bangsa Malaysia" strongly but I just can''t see it happening to this hopeless bloody nation. Let's face it. Barbarians are among us. They incite hatred whenever they can for whatever the fuck reason that they can have. Are humans all born to be biased? WHY? I mean fucking WHY? I am Chinese. So what? Must you hate me because I am Chinese? I cant fucking change that. So FUCK YOU and FUCK YOUR THOUGHTS!BN 1 PR 0Ella is too sexyPAS Youth demonstrated and BN is smiling.BN 2 PR 0Indonesian singer too sexyAs if one time is not enough, they did it again.BN 3 PR 0PAS Youth to protest over Avril Lavigne concertAt least they were consistent....

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The BolehJokes Opinion: Teachers are Gangsters?

I know all the hype has been about DSAI's election campaign in Permatang Pauh. I would like to wish him all the best. I don't really know who will step up to challenge him but I feel sorry for that person. He or she will just merely show up, get some publicity and then lose badly (really big time motherfucking badly). Poor thing. Haha.Honestly, I am still a little sick of politic. So let's talk about something else. I read an interesting article in the Star today, entitled "Teachers should not act like hooligans".I can't help but to think about all the past horrible memory that I had as a little kid trying to make my grades in school. I fully agree with the writer. Some of the teachers during my time in primary school are really like some motherfucking...

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Reformasi or Kompromasi?

Let’s review the positives and the negatives. For the benefit of those who don’t understand: reformasi = reform Kompromasi = compromiseThe positives of Reformasithe birth of Bangsa Malaysiathe emergence of 2-party system and the people have more than just a choicethe reborn of true democracy (and Tunku’s soul may come back to Malaysia and say “Well Done”. Rest in peace, Tunku. We love you.)the emergence of Sabah and Sarawak as powerful states and immediate development (obvious political reason, right?)the end of Mamak style dictatorshipthe end of Musa Hassan and Gani Patailthe true justice will be carried out hopefullythe end of daylight robbery and the drop of petrol price (and Petronas may become Non-Profit Organization perhaps :) )the end...

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Hello Malay People. Please Buck Up!

First of all, I pray that RPK and DSAI will be alright. Let’s talk about something else other than politic.I’ve just recently sacked a Malay staff. I can tell you that it is extremely heart-breaking. I am not a racist. I really believe in the spirit of “Muhibbah” and the concept of “Bangsa Malaysia” which is why I took him because I really want to give him a chance. I know he’s not highly talented but he’s a really simple person who at first showed a lot of promising sign and willingness to learn. I trained him patiently and worked with him for a few years. But it all went up to nothing. He is the second Malay I have sacked so far. I had to. I have no choice.As time goes by, he’s taking more and more MCs. His performance dropped and he constantly...

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Taking a break

I dont know about you. I am sick of politic at the moment. The mere sight of it makes me wanna puke. Too much politic, too little changes. bAH!!!Get to work peop...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: Anwar 3 Najib 0

Anwar 1 Najib 0 By openly admitting to having met with Saiful 3 days before the alleged “sodomised victim” lodges a police report, Najib actually gave himself a big slap on the face. The people are now laughing real hard. It is stupidity beyond limit. He should have carefully consider the consequences before releasing a statement like that. I mean, it makes him look stupid, really really stupid. Why on earth would a Deputy Prime Minister spend his time to meet a commoner? Who is Saiful? Why is he so special that DPM have to devote his time for him? Is he now acting as a specialist or counselor to common people by giving consultation? If I have personal problem, can I see visit Najib too? What a caring DPM we have over here. The reborn of...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: What would you do if you were Pak Lah or Anwar?

We know the latest development being the accusation against Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim for sodomy. Same trick that was used by a dictator famous for his "Apanama" trademark. While on the other hand, Ong Ka Ting will not be contesting for MCA presidential postLet's play politic bitch. So what would you do if you were Pak Lah?Lim: The most common attack in politic that I've seen is to dig out the opponent's weakness and give more publicity to it and keep focusing on it. This is what Pakatan Rakyat has been doing and most people claimed that the clever Azmin Ali was the mastermind behind it. So same trick, same effect. Pakatan Rakyat is still not strong as a unit. There were voices of discontentment between PAS and DAP. As there were rumours about...

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The Bolehland Breaking News: Anwar to file report against IGP, AG

(Malaysiakini) A police report is expected to be lodged against the police chief Musa Hassan and attorney-general A Gani Patail this morning over their alleged misconduct during Anwar Ibrahim's trials in 1998-1999.Lawyers acting for the PKR de facto leader are expected to lodge the report.Yesterday Anwar had said that he had evidence implicating Inspector-General of Police Musa and AG Abdul Gani Patail in the misconduct, including fabrication of evidence in the cases launched against him after his sacking from government in 1998.He added that a fresh police report lodged against him for sodomy was a result of "interested parties to attack me in retaliation" over this evidence in his possession.The report alleging sodomy was filed by Anwar's...

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The Bolehland Breaking News: Malaysia's opposition leader Anwar accused of sodomy amid political tension; he denies charge

Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim was accused Saturday of sodomizing a man, police said, sparking speculation that he might be arrested on the same charge that led to his imprisonment a decade ago.Anwar, who resurrected his political career after leading the opposition to spectacular gains in the March 8 elections, denied the allegation, calling it a ''complete fabrication.''''This is clearly a desperate attempt by the ... regime to arrest the movement of the Malaysian people towards freedom, democracy and justice,'' the 60-year-old former deputy prime minister said.Anwar claimed the report was engineered by ''interested parties'' to prevent him from exposing the national police chief and the attorney general for their alleged role...

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The Bolehland Daily: Pak Lah and Dr. Mahathir both defended Najib and wife

They may have a lot of differences lately, but they found a common ground on this one. Pak Lah and Dr. Mahathir both defended Najib and wife in Altantuya murder. Abdullah said that action would be taken against the blogger who made the allegations against Najib and his wife Rosmah Mansor, and who has already been charged with sedition over the issue. "I don't believe that Najib and Rosmah are involved," the premier told reporters. While Dr M went further by stating that Raja Petra accusation a political ploy. "They (Lim Kit Siang and Raja Petra Kamarudin) are not really interested in crime or achieving justice. They have a political agenda. "As far as they are concerned, this is the time to run somebody in government down. So,...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: The professional code of conduct for oil-hike protest

Let’s face it. Like it or not, any demonstrations in Malaysia will not be approved by the police. Without permit, it will be deemed as illegal assembly. The reason for banning is always the typical excuse, which is the national security at stake. So let’s think of some ways to make it professional and leave them no room for banning. This is just my suggestion. (If you don’t think it is viable, let’s agree to disagree.) I think the event organizer should come out with the professional code of conduct to organize such event and propose it to the authority to let them know that it is just a peaceful protest. I know the BERSIH organizers have previously done it but it is not strong enough. It must be more professional in my opinion. They...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: Regarding my last post

Fuck off people! What the fuck is the matter? Read properly before you fucking comment or send me abusive emails. I am trying to encourage more older people to believe in change and not to fucking insult them. I will become old one day as well. Fucking read and dont jump to the conclusion.Some fuckers even told me to study the stats properly before writing. This is a fucking opinion and not a fucking expert analysis. You can't even understand simple fucking English. Improve your level of understanding or may I say your intelligence before commenting.Peace motherfuck...

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The BolehJokes Opinion: “I want peace. I don’t want any trouble.”

That’s the reaction from most of the older people starting from age 50 and above (Not all, but most). Don’t get me wrong. I do not have any discrimination against older people but I am very frustrated with the attitude of most of them. Ask them what do they think of the street protest of oil hike, they will immediately reply “Trouble. Avoid at all costs. These people are causing trouble. They have no brain. Economy will fall. Sigh” Ask them what do they think if Pakatan Rakyat takeover in Sept 16 and their immediate reply was “Trouble. Stock up some food. Umno people will take to the street and cause chaos. This country will be in chaos” Ask them what if Pakatan Rakyat took over and that there’s no trouble and their reply was “It will...

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The Bolehland Breaking News: Raja Petra - The Malaysian Version of Braveheart

It's shocking and I'm totally gobsmacked by Raja Petra's bravery. May God protect Yang Mulia RPK now. I am worried for him.Raja Petra: 'Rosmah at murder scene'In his latest bombshell, Raja Petra accused Rosmah as among three individuals who were present when Altantuya was murdered on Oct 19, 2006."I have been reliably informed that between about 10pm on October 19, 2006 and early hours of the following day, the night Altantuya Shaariibuu was murdered, three other people were also present at the scene of crime," he said, according to his two-page statutory declaration.He named the two other individuals as one acting colonel Aziz Buyong, who is described as ‘a C4 expert’ and the latter’s wife, known only as Norhayati, who is also said to be Rosmah’s...

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The Bolehland Breaking News: Sapp MPs to move no-confidence vote

(malaysiakini) Sabah Progressive Party (Sapp) today announced that it would move a no-confidence motion against Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi when Parliament resumes on Monday. It is the first time in the history of the nation that a vote of no-confidence is to be moved against a prime minister."In the coming sitting of the Parliament session starting Monday, June 23, our MPs will support a vote of no confidence on the PM."Whether the motion will be tabled by our party MP or another MP will be decided in due course," said a press statement released today.Chua (right), who was present a party's 40-minute press conference in Kota Kinabalu, gave four reasons for backing the no-confidence vote. They are:No concrete actions have been taken on the issue of illegal immigrants in Sabah. "Our...

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